Where’s the beef? You’re looking at it, pal.
Just look at this monstrosity of a lineup submitted by Yankees manager Aaron Boone, which may be the largest starting nine ever assembled. There was a time not that long ago when teams would assign the leadoff role to scrawny, slap-hitter types in the mold of Ichiro or Juan Pierre. But instead, the Yankees—who must have the largest food budget in the major leagues—are trotting out last year’s MLB home-run leader Luke Voit (listed at 6’3” and a conservative 255 pounds) as their leadoff man Thursday against Minnesota.
Between Voit, Anthony Rizzo, Aaron Judge, Joey Gallo and Giancarlo Stanton, New York’s mammoth 1-5 hitters average a hair under 6’5” while tipping the scales at a robust 251.4 pounds. That’s taller than the average heights of the Houston Rockets’ “small ball” lineup of James Harden (6’5”), Russell Westbrook (6’3”), P.J. Tucker (6’5”), Eric Gordon (6’3”) and Danuel House (6’6”) that gained traction during the COVID-interrupted 2019-20 season. No wonder Voit has taken to calling this comically-large collection of talent the “Goal Line Package.”
Luke Voit called tonight’s lineup the Goal Line Package.
— Lindsey Adler (@lindseyadler) August 19, 2021
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Whether consciously or not, GM Brian Cashman has constructed a roster of modern-day goliaths with each jumbo-sized slugger bigger than the next. And if the Yankees call on DJ LeMahieu (6’4”/220) or Gary Sanchez (6’2”/230)—neither of whom are in Thursday’s starting lineup—as late-game reinforcements, the Bombers and their army of baseball mutants will be even better equipped to save mankind from the inevitable zombie apocalypse. What I would give to watch this group lay absolute waste to a Vegas buffet.
All jokes aside, New York is playing some terrific baseball right now, winning six in a row to move past the slumping Red Sox for the lead in the American League Wild Card race. Are the retooled Yankees, who have looked like a completely different team since acquiring Gallo and Rizzo at the July 30th trade deadline, literally too big to fail? We’ll find out over the next 41 games.
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