There were times during Spencer Turnbull's long road back to Detroit that he wasn't sure he'd make it, that he couldn't see past the day in front of him, that he was "just trying to survive that grind" of recovering from Tommy John. He admits rehab was a struggle, "emotionally, spiritually, physically." As it dragged on longer than expected last season, Turnbull says his "mental health suffered and I just wasn't in a great place."
This is the perspective that sometimes eludes Turnbull, a self-admitted "perfectionist," on days like Thursday when he takes the mound at Comerica Park for the first time in two years and pitches just well enough to believe he should have pitched better.
On Opening Day in Detroit, Turnbull walked off the mound with the lead. He had pitched into the sixth and held the Red Sox to two runs. He had done his job. It was only after reliever Jose Cisnero failed to do his, allowing a three-run bomb to Adam Duvall, that Turnbull was charged with five runs and the loss in a game he wanted so badly to win.
As Turnbull was trying not to kick himself afterward, Joey Wentz, a few years removed from Tommy John himself, reminded his rotation mate, "Bull, you pitched good today, don’t be so hard on yourself. You didn’t even have any rehab starts last year. In spring training you had a few, but that’s the first time you’ve had the chance."
Turnbull had to smile and admit Wentz was right: "I was like, 'Yeah, I mean, good point. Alright, fine."
Turnbull was not at his best Thursday. But he was much better than he was last Saturday in his first start of the season, and that's progress for a pitcher who's firing his first live bullets since June of 2021. His velocity was up this spring, but down on Thursday. The two pitches that cost him the most were low-90's fastballs to Rafael Devers: one ended up in the bullpen, the other sailed over Riley Greene's head for an RBI double. He couldn't quite find his slider, typically his best pitch. He induced just one swing and miss, and he's used to making hitters look silly.
Still: he left with the lead. He was one out away from going six innings strong, and he had been efficient from the jump. He had harnessed his nerves and attacked each hitter. After spraying the ball last weekend, he had even put a couple "mechanical changes" into action. By the time he spoke to reporters after the Tigers' 6-3 loss, Turnbull was in a better place. He had found the perspective he was missing: "Today was a lot better."
And yet: did you see how good he was in 2021? Do you remember that start in Seattle? Nearly 24 months later, Turnbull laments that "I’m not in no-hitter form." Before his elbow gave out that year, Turnbull had a 2.88 ERA and a sub-1.00 WHIP through nine starts. At the age of 28, in his second full big-league season, the former Alabama star and touted second-round pick was making it with the Tigers. Now, at the age of 30, he's trying to make it back.
"It’s frustrating for me because I’m a bit of a perfectionist and I know what I’m capable of and I know what I was doing in 2021," Turnbull said. "I felt like I finally figured everything out. It was clicking, I was rolling, I felt dominant, I felt like an ace and I was finally starting to kind of prove that. I feel like I was living up to my potential finally. And then to get hurt was very frustrating. Now coming back, I’m like, 'I should be dominating, what is going on?'"
He laughed and added, "I’m definitely a little hard on myself sometimes."
Fortunately for Turnbull, the Tigers aren't in any rush. He'll get all the time he needs this season to get himself right -- and he will, judging by the conviction in his voice. If he's being realistic, these are still the rehab starts he missed last year. This is why he's "not getting pissed that I’m not throwing 96, 97 yet." While Turnbull has made it to Detroit, this is still the road back to where he was.
"The body’s getting used to the grind again and the ebbs and flows of getting used to throwing every five days. But like I said, my arm will get used to it, I’ll bounce back, the stuff will be there, the velo will pick back up, I will find the slider, it’s not going to take long," Turnbull said. "It’s a little annoying that I don’t have it right this second, but it’s week two. We’ll be alright."
At times last year, Turnbull had to remind himself "the world's not ending." He can handle a temporary dip in velocity. He handled it well on Thursday, aside from a couple pitches he'd like back. Point is, he threw them in the first place. He said he was "still pretty proud" of his first five innings, and he had every reason to be. Turnbull is back on the mound in the bigs, where "the stakes are high and every result matters."
"It’s going to be a process," he said, "but I will get back to where I was at and help the team win."
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