(670 The Score) By the time any of it makes it to us via a mainstream site like Twitter, it has already metastasized in the deeper corners of the darker web. Imageboard sites like 34kun and 51chan may have been effectively banned from operating here, but they've remained viable by reaching deals to be hosted on any number of disreputable foreign servers.
The twisted fantasies and quasi-religious narratives regarding the Bears' pursuit of a quarterback continue unabated in the multi-tentacled ecosystem of QBAnon, an ever-shifting and often conflicted belief system that finds new and more strident adherents by the day.
670 The Score has investigated its origins and observed current behaviors. This is what we know.
In late 2019, a poster known only as "QB" began providing what was presented as insider information regarding the Bears' plans at the position on 34chan (now known as 34kun), a site owned and operated by Jim and Tom Butka, who are believed to be father and son, brothers or some combination thereof. Subsequent posts by QB are referred to by the group as "QB drops" and become the source of endless interpretation and speculation.
QB informed readers that Bears owner Virginia McCaskey is imbued with supernatural powers and is the chosen vessel of an ancient and amorphous football intelligence that may be centered deep underneath a high-fructose corn syrup factory in Decatur, Ill. and will occasionally manifest in Ernie Accorsi's hairpiece, but only after the reading of a sacred incantation. There's a prophecy that claims that the Bears will win the Super Bowl after "The Reckoning," a day in which a trade of multiple draft picks and players for a messianic quarterback sets off a chain reaction that ultimately culminates with the presentation of the
Lombardi Trophy, which immediately causes the spaceship inside Soldier Field to unmoor itself and lift off with anointed souls on board to become one with the football universe.
And then there are more line stunts, aggressive blitzing, deployment of the magic shotgun formation and at long last, Chris Zorich is retroactively moved to linebacker.
As other parts of this, messages from players must be decoded for the clues they contain. Russell Wilson, for example, has been using references to biblical verses to disguise certain disclosures.
Poster Anonymous519534 notes: "Wilson posts bible quotes with the hashtag #BVD, an obvious reference to the company that makes men's underpants. The most well-known TV commercial for them was with Larry Hagman portraying J.R. Ewing, emerging from a hot tub to ask, 'Don't you want to get your hands on my BVDs?' The year that spot aired? 1985. 'nuff said."
Anonymous46 wrote, "Deshaun Watson tweeded (sic) a picture of his charity event, and he said '4daKIDS,' so he's telling us he's coming to Da Bears."
And Anonymous9959 noticed that Mike Ditka has been mostly out of public view for some time and speculated that, "Ditka's essence is being harvested to be redistributed among the coaching staff and front office, and he will be placed in a state of suspended animation in what used to be his restaurant's walk-in cooler."
What's more, Twitter user @Shane_Riordan observed regarding one Wilson post "Focus on the numbers in the bible verse--
2- B
5- E
1- A
7- G (very close to the letter 'R')."
Among other QBAnon core beliefs, it's accepted that Sid Luckman is alive and can be seen in a back booth at Manny's Deli on certain Tuesday mornings enjoying a bowl of chicken soup but will evaporate if approached. Also, Johnny Morris still receives information about The Reckoning on the third page of his daily racing form, the mascot Staley is actually an anthropomorphized cartoon bear -- not a person in a costume -- and Bob Thomas' tenure on the Illinois Supreme Court allowed him to create a full system of superseding state laws to be enacted when notified via proper channels.
The hiring of Henry Burris as offensive quality control coach was an attempt to repair damage to the time/space continuum created by his 7-of-19, 78-yard, four-interception performance against Tampa Bay in 2002. Also, subscribers to QBAnon believe in the significance of certain anagrams:
Bo Rather -- "Brother A."
Tommie Harris -- "Riot Is Hammer."
Henry Waechter -- "When Treachery."
And Jimbo Covert -- "Covert Jimbo."
Monitors of board activity report expectations on the part of contributors that significant QB posts occur with greatest frequency when local temperatures drop below 15 degrees Fahrenheit, but there appears to be no actual such correlation.
Dan Bernstein is the co-host of the Bernstein & Rahimi Show on middays from 9 a.m. until noon on 670 The Score. You can follow him on Twitter @Dan_Bernstein.