(670 The Score) It has now been two full weeks of the middle-aged quarterback comedy tour, with the Bears the butt of all the lampooning. Given the chance in front of the nation to put that all to rest, they instead chose to validate it definitively -- and invite even more.
First it was the Packers' Aaron Rodgers declaring his ownership of the franchise in the Soldier Field end zone, then pretending it was all part of some blackout fugue state before admitting he was responding directly to fans. Then Buccaneers quarterback Tom Brady cut a video congratulating Rodgers on his purported stake in the Bears' franchise, sharing it across social media as his contribution to the bit.
Even CBS broadcaster Jim Nantz seized an opportunity to pile on Sunday, declaring after three unanswered Tampa Bay touchdowns "Watch out -- here come the Bears!" as the sarcasm dripped heavier than the rain.
From the Chuckle Hut to the Laff Lounge, it has been open season on a Bears team that so often talks about pride in its heritage standing in the NFL.
The scoreboard doesn't give a damn about that, though, and the one above the pirate ship read Bucs 38, Bears 3.
It's not funny.
We'll never know to what extent these embarrassments matter or even to whom they should. Our understanding of the shadowy dynamics at Halas Hall requires something more like Cold War Kremlinology than sports or business analysis, looking for omens and making projections and presumptions in the absence of more straightforward guidance. And while we want to imagine matriarch Virginia McCaskey descending a grand staircase and proclaiming public executions like the Queen of Hearts in Wonderland, it's far more likely that the circled ranks continue their ongoing and successful effort to keep doing what they do for money, just burbling about collaboration and togetherness and finding the whys amid the Bears' struggles.
Here are some, if they're looking: terrible blocking, five turnovers, porous run defense, an overwhelmed rookie quarterback left to his own devices under relentless pressure, an ongoing lack of behavioral discipline and the creeping malaise of everybody knowing it's unlikely to get much better anytime soon.
Instead of whys, it may be time to start thinking about some whens.
When is it not OK? When has enough been proved? When does it matter that the development of Justin Fields needs the care and attention that it deserves, particularly as loftier goals are revealed to be the pipe dreams they always were? When can we next turn on a game without being suffused with perfectly reasonable dread?
None of this was helped by a COVID outbreak that forced numerous late roster changes and adjustments to the lineup and depth that ended up mattering. Lachavious Simmons was pressed into action at right tackle when Elijah Wilkinson went into the protocols, and he was summarily turnstiled until he was benched in the second quarter. It wasn't the best timing for a team already outmanned, succumbing further to a lingering pandemic.
Call this team a joke if you want. You'd be right.
But the Bears are a specific one at the moment, the infamous routine known as "The Aristocrats." They're just as sick, wrong and outrageously messed up.
Dan Bernstein is the co-host of the Bernstein & Rahimi Show on middays from 9 a.m. until noon on 670 The Score. You can follow him on Twitter @Dan_Bernstein.