Congrats to the Astros owner for offering the dumbest apology in the history of words

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With baseball lifer Dusty Baker at his side on the dais, Jim Crane, Astros owner and tone-deaf rich guy, made an absolute mess of his supposed apology press conference on Thursday morning in West Palm Beach, Florida.

Crane, it would seem, took absolutely no time to come up with a decent answer for the most obvious of questions, in the wake of his organizations massive electronic sign-stealing scandal. Like, for example, what he would say to teams like the Yankees and others, clubs on the wrong side of the skullduggery as the Astros bulldozed their way to the 2017 World Series title.

Astros owner Jim Crane: “Our opinion is this didn’t impact the game.”Wait, what? -- -- pic.twitter.com/OCy7FKgUKf

— 95.7 The Game (@957thegame) February 13, 2020

There are so many follow-ups that come to mind.

Such as...

"Excuse me?"

"Why did you fire your general manager/president of baseball ops Jeff Luhnow and manager A.J. Hinch if the sign-stealing didn't impact the game?" 

"Why did you get fined $5 million?"

"Why did you lose first and second-round picks the next two years?"

"Why is your franchise such an embarassment?"

"Do you even have a PR staff? Do you know what a PR staff is?"

It's just the latest reminder that the Astros should be disbanded for the season to come, if not for the obvious logisitical hurdles that such a move would entail. Oh, and hollow as it may be, that 2017 World Series title should be vacated. You can't give it to the Dodgers two years late. You just leave the title null. 

And finally, shame on Crane and all his Astros underlings for leveraging the good name of Dusty Baker to try and dig themselves out of this disgrace.