If the end felt near for Mark Dantonio, the timing of it still felt sudden.
Dantonio announced Tuesday that he's stepping down as head football coach at Michigan State -- a few weeks after collecting a $4.3 million bonus, and a few hours after it was reported he'd been accused of committing NCAA violations in a lawsuit by former staffer Curtis Blackwell. And a day before National Signing Day, certainly not ideal for a program trying to reverse a downswing on the field.
But in Dantonio's mind, the timing was right. He said he began to realize this season, and more specifically over the last few weeks, that he could no longer give what the job demanded of him.
"As I’ve gone into those schools in the last two weeks of (recruiting), I would find myself saying, 'There’s going to be a gap created if I don’t stay. If I leave after next season, there’s going to be a gap in recruiting,'" Dantonio said. "And the best time, I felt, to step away was at the reset time -- when you reset your football team, when you get ready for spring ball and critique what you’ve done, all the different aspects of that.
"I just felt this was a decision that had been weighing on me, I don’t think it’s any big secret, for probably quite a while. Going to be 64 years old (in March), and something I’ve thought about."
As for the Blackwell lawsuit and the potential fallout that comes with it, Dantonio said it had "no relevance whatsoever" in his decision. Blackwell is suing Dantonio, former MSU athletic director Mark Hollis and former school president Lou Anna K. Simon for wrongful termination on the grounds that he was made a scapegoat in the aftermath of a sexual assault in 2017 involving former player Austin Robertson.
Most recently, Blackwell alleged that Dantonio committed two NCAA violations, including arranging employment for the parents of two of his players.
Asked what he would say about Blackwell's various allegations, Dantonio said, "Well, I think that’s something for the courts, or not for the courts. But I’ve tried very hard to never say anything negative about anyone. I’ll keep that right where it’s at."
Dantonio shut down a follow-up question by stating, "We’re not talking about that here. This is a celebration."
"The overwhelming responsibility for people day in and day out just feels sometimes like an avalanche, to be quite honest. A big wave, not an avalanche. It's a wave that you’re always surfing, and I just felt like at points in time throughout the season it was like, 'What else? What else is there?'' Dantonio said. "When you’re involved with 120 players, there’s a lot of things that come across your desk and there’s so many things you can’t control.
"I never found myself having an opportunity to come up for air, and that can wear on you."
On top of that, Dantonio said, the recruiting aspect of the job was beginning to drain him.
"As I thought about the things that I was trying to accomplish and the things I was going to have to take steps toward, it just becomes complicated," said Dantonio. "And at this point in time I want to uncomplicate my life, to be honest with you."
Dantonio, who will remain on board with MSU in a special-projects role, steps down as the winningnest coach in program history. He said he wants his legacy to be defined by the relationships he formed with his players, more than the wins and losses.
Despite the way his tenure ended, and despite whatever might come next, he said he wouldn't do anything differently during his 13 seasons at the helm.
"No, I don’t think I would. I don’t look at life like that," Dantonio said. "I do the best I can and try to move it forward. There was a large part of me that was 50-50 (about this decision), what to do, how to do it. And if you’re 50-50 on something, you need to be over here because this job demands 100 percent."