"It’s weird, I was thinking about that earlier," Tillman said after the Spartans' dreams of a national championship were dashed Saturday night. "My freshman year I was so devastated because I loved the team and all the guys, and I felt like it was my fault. This year I know that I’m going to be back and get back to the same exact spot where I’m at, but this time with a different result."
Throughout the locker room Saturday night, this was the general mood. The players were in pain, make no mistake, but they were proud more than anything else. Nick Ward was asked how he'll be able to sleep, knowing how close the Spartans came to a national championship.
He said he'll sleep just fine.
"Last year it would have been a different story. But this year I can go to bed with my head held high. We played as far as we could. Nobody thought we’d get to a Final Four, and we won the Big Ten regular season, the Big Ten tourney. I feel like we had a hell of a season," said Ward.
Yes, Michigan State was ranked No. 10 to start the season and picked to win the Big Ten. But there was a major drop-off in talent from last year's team with the departures of Miles Bridges and Jaren Jackson Jr. It fell even further when Joshua Langford went down for the season in December.
But the Spartans banded together and won 32 games, tied for the second most in program history. In the process, they surprised even themselves.
"Pretty sure we couldn’t tell y’all that we were going to be here, and y’all wouldn’t tell us that we were going to be in this situation either," said Cassius Winston.
Sure, the players said frequently the past few days they never doubted a Final Four was within their reach, but that was a lie cloaked in confidence. The truth is they were thrilled to get here.
"We definitely overachieved through everybody’s expectations, through our own expectations. We definitely overachieved making it to a Final Four," said Tillman. "Obviously that’s every college basketball team’s goal, but in reality our goal was just winning one game at a time, and to be able to make it to a Final Four is unreal."
After the Spartans were shocked by Syracuse in the second round of last year's Tournament, there was hardly a dry eye in the locker room. The only tears this year belonged to Gabe Brown, a freshman broken by disappointment. Brown stepped up in a big way for the Spartans in their Sweet 16 win over LSU, and they needed him again Saturday night when Aaron Henry got into early foul trouble.
He was unable to deliver a second time.
Still, Brown's explosion in the Sweet 16 is one of several magical moments from a season that this team will remember fondly.
"We accomplished a lot," said Tillman. "Winning the Vegas tournament on Thanksgiving, sharing the Big Ten with Purdue, winning the Big Ten Tournament and making it to the Final Four is crazy all in one year."
They only wish they could have sent their two seniors, Matt McQuaid and Kenny Goins, out on a higher note.
"I’m stuck in the middle," said Winston. "I’m hurt that we came up short, I’m hurt that we sent Kenny and Quaido out like that, I’m hurt that we couldn’t play better in this game and win a championship.
"At the same time, I can’t be mad. Just feel like a lot of guys gave it their all this year, they gave it everything they had and gave us even more than we probably expected out of them. To see that from guys, it’s hard to be mad. It’s hard to be down."
Both Goins and McQuaid agreed it was a special season.
"We’re all proud of what we did as a team this year," said Goins. "It still hurts, it still sucks, especially being a senior it feels different for me in that aspect. But I think we can all keep our heads high in the fact that we did a lot more than what anyone expected us to do."
He spoke softly after the game Saturday night, wishing he had been able to do more in the early going.
"I can appreciate how far we came, from winning the Big Ten to the Big Ten Tournament to making it to the Final Four, beating teams we weren’t supposed to beat. It makes it sweeter for that," Henry said. "But this was a game I felt confident for us going in and expected us to win.
"You have to give it to them. They played harder and they played tougher, man, and that's what they do."
Texas Tech's historically good defense was even better than advertised, holding the Spartans to their fewest points (51) of the season. Michigan State hadn't been kept under 60 all year. Where in the wake of last year's loss Tom Izzo defended his program and his reputation and vowed defiantly to be back, this year he tipped his cap to a terrific opponent.
"They deserved to beat us. They played better than us. They made shots, some incredible shots late. They were the tougher team tonight," said Izzo, straining himself to admit it. They just were."
What else is there to say?
"You never can feel good (after a loss in the Final Four) because you'll never know if you’ll ever get back here, so I won’t feel good tonight and I'm not going to pretend to feel good. But I’ll bet you a couple days from now I’m going to be so damn proud of this team, not only for what they accomplished but how they did it and the joy they brought.
"It was an incredible year for me, too, just being around them."