On Monday night, the Boston Bruins embarked on their sixth straight trip to the playoffs. The Boston Celtics continued their eighth straight trip a night later. The night after that, the Boston Red Sox fell five games under .500 -- the horror! They're fresh off a trip to the ALCS. And the Patriots are a few months removed from their first trip to the playoffs in one whole season.
On Tuesday, the Los Angeles Kings returned to the playoffs. Forgive the LA Lakers and the LA Clippers: they had the audacity to miss them this year. The National-League leading LA Dodgers are rolling toward their 10th straight playoff appearance. The LA Rams, stolen from St. Louis, just won the Super Bowl.
Cool, guys. Can you do this?
The Detroit Red Wings just missed the playoffs for the sixth straight season -- the second longest drought in the NHL. The Detroit Pistons just missed the playoffs for the third straight -- tied for the fourth longest drought in the NBA. The Detroit Tigers haven't made the playoffs in seven seasons -- tied for the third longest drought in MLB. And the Detroit Lions haven't made the playoffs in five seasons -- tied for the third longest drought in the NFL.
Combined, that's 21 straight seasons of coming up short. Excluding the Lions' 9-7 record in 2017, after which they fired one of the best coaches in franchise history to hire quite possibly the worst, and the Tigers' 86-75 record in 2016, after which they exploded their roster for a nuclear winter, that's 19 straight seasons of losing. We win.
Of the 13 U.S. cities represented in each of the four major pro sports (I see you, DCFC fans, I hear you), Detroit is the only one with four active playoff droughts. Around here, we miss the postseason like nobody's business.
And it goes deeper than that. While the Pistons have squeezed two playoff trips out of the last 13 seasons, they haven't won a playoff game since 2008 -- when Cade Cunningham was shooting on a Little Tikes hoop at recess. And while the Lions have managed three trips to the playoffs this century, they haven't won a playoff game since Dan Campbell was wrangling cattle on his family's ranch in 1991.
Still not impressed? The Tigers lasted three games in their last trip to the playoffs with one of the greatest rotations and one of the greatest hitters ever. The Red Wings got a little greedy and carved a win off the Lightning in a first-round loss in 2016, Jeff Blashill's rookie season behind the bench. It would be four years before they beat their division rival again.
The other Big 4 cities can hit us with their best. No one's touching this 21-season playoff drought. No one's even sniffing it. New York is still five seasons shy when it combines the NFL-leading Jets (11 seasons) and the Giants (five). No, they can't throw in the Mets (five); they also have the Yankees (zero). No, they can't cry about the Knicks; they also have Kevin Durant, Kyrie Irving and the Nets. (Ok, they can cry about that.)
The next closest city would be Philadelphia, where the Phillies have MLB's second-longest playoff drought at 10 seasons and the Flyers can chip in two dry seasons of their own. For an adorable total of 12. And stop it, these aren't even city-wide droughts. The 76ers have made the playoffs five years in a row. The Eagles, four of the past five.
Eventually, Detroit will re-join the pack. We'll make a few playoff trips and blend in with everyone else. We'll gripe about normal things like blowing a lead in Game 6 -- now we're on the road for Game 7!! -- or getting bounced by an underdog. We'll be just another Big 4 City. But right now, we are one of a kind. We can laugh at cities who want to cry. There is nothing more hilarious than Boston fans pretending to be sad. Our teams will rally. They will.
But until one of them volunteers to go first -- no rush, guys! -- Detroit will bravely stand alone.