Has Bill Belichick lost power within the Patriots organization?
In its new docuseries ‘Quarterback,’ streaming behemoth Netflix promises viewers “an unprecedented look” at what it takes to play the position in the NFL, but it’s a pitch that falls flat in its glossy, but bland first episode.
The eight-episode show debuted July 12 and follows three starting quarterbacks - the Kansas City Chiefs’ Patrick Mahomes, the Minnesota Vikings’ Kirk Cousins and the Atlanta Falcons’ Marcus Mariota – through the 2022-23 season.
Episode one opens with a scene inside the Cousins household: there are Christmas lights strung up outside and Kirk sits with his son, reading “The Sports Illustrated for Kids: The Big Book of Why,” which explains why quarterbacks can’t get hit at the knees. Interesting bedtime material.
After detailing Tom Brady’s ACL injury, executive producer Peyton Manning appears on-screen in a talking head interview and explains what a quarterback is. Who is this show for? We’re introduced to our three quarterbacks, and Cousins says we’ll know what it’s like to crawl into their skin. Gross.
If this show is aware of one thing, it’s who’s the star: Mahomes. We meet Patrick during his 2020 Super Bowl celebration and quickly fast forward to the first two weeks of the 2022 season, which feature Chiefs victories. But Mahomes’ life isn’t all Super Bowls and commercial shoots: he has to take photos with his wife in front of balloon arches at his own birthday party. A cake is rolled out with frosting that is meant to look like his hair. It looks like something left by a dog in need of fiber.
The episode pivots to Cousins, the guy who reads disturbing accounts of Brady injuries to his son before bed. He quotes Margaret Thatcher and kicks the Packers’ ass in week one, but his wife picks out a dorky Patagonia shirt for him to wear postgame and he turns into a meme. No quarterback’s life is easy. People who haven’t watched football for eight years learn Cousins was originally a backup. He loses to the Eagles.
Suddenly, Colin Cowherd appears on the screen, shouting that Matt Ryan is out in Atlanta, Marcus Mariota is in. Mariota and his wife go to an ultrasound appointment and then the quarterback drives with no hands on the steering wheel and talks about how weird free agency can be. Cowherd’s disembodied voice shouts again about Mariota making the most of his opportunities and we watch him fumble a snap in the final minute of a game, leading to a loss.
We’re halfway through the episode and get back to Mahomes, who loses to the Colts but is ultimately able to overcome Brady, who may or may not be the boogeyman in Cousins’ children’s dreams. Mahomes is able to bounce back, even though he no longer has Tyreek Hill, and coach Andy Reid sits down for an interview in which he says nobody believes in the team without Hill. Nick Wright called Mahomes the greatest football player ever just moments ago.
The next 20 minutes bounce back and forth between Cousins and Mahomes. Mahomes talks crap to Maxx Crosby during a Week 5 game and then proceeds to score a touchdown. We see him tell this story to at least three different groups of people. Cousins overthrows a perfectly-designed pass. We don’t return to Mariota.
This is where the show’s fragmented quality really jumps out, and unlike its predecessor, HBO’s ‘Hard Knocks,’ ‘Quarterback’ lacks the style that can cover up an absence of substance. There are no winking jokes, cleverly written narration, or zeitgeisty needle drops in this show. It’s a lot of timpani drums and sideline shots.
That’s not to say it doesn’t have its bright spots. It’s always fun to hear players mic’d up, and Mahomes has a habit of saying things at least two or three times, making him appear less like an Adonis and more like Jimmy Two-Times from Goodfellas. He’s the highlight of this entire production.
But the show tries to pose Cousins as an uber-focused processor, and he wears the mask of a local celebrity hawking Toyotas the entire episode. Mariota appears for only one more shot, walking his dogs with his wife. The pacing is all off. By the end of the episode we have no idea what week of the season we’re in, or where these teams sit in their respective divisions.
The episode closes with a tease for the rest of the series: Mahomes’ injury, more trouble on the field for Mariota, and people refusing to share in Cousins’ enthusiasm for…something vague. July can be slim pickings for sports entertainment. ‘Quarterback’ isn’t a total miss, but football fans won’t be losing out on much by skipping it.
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