Back in November 2006, the NFL gave us another night of football. Sure, we had Thanksgiving games for decades. But 16 years ago, the league shopped a brand-new television package, exclusively for Thursdays during the season. After the Colts and Broncos combined for a pitiful seven field goals less than 24 hours ago, the question lingered. Was that the worst Thursday night game of all-time? Let's take a look back.
No. 5: Texans 13, Bengals 9 (Sept. 14, 2017) -- Cincinnati followed up its season-opening shutout loss by scoring three field goals against Houston. This marked the first time since 1939 that a team didn't score a touchdown through its first two weeks. When told of that statistic, Bengals head coach Marvin Lewis said, "I'm shocked." Of course you were, Marv. A painful battle of Ka'imi Fairbarn and Randy Bullock field goals was broken up by the game's only highlight -- a 47-yard touchdown run by Deshaun Watson in his very first NFL start. Both Watson and Andy Dalton were sacked three times each. After the game, A.J. Green simply said, "I don't know what we're doing out there."
No. 4: Packers 9, Vikings 7 (Dec. 22, 2006) -- The Associated Press story opened with the line, "It might have been Brett Favre's final fling at Lambeau Field, and it wasn't pretty." Favre contemplated retirement, though returned to Green Bay in 2007. Maybe since this would've been a disgusting way to go out. Facing rookie Tavaris Jackson, the Packers nudged out a win on three Dave Rayner field goals. He missed two others in the game, and the only touchdown was from a pick-six by Vikings cornerback Fred Smoot.
The sloppy affair saw Green Bay lose a fumble at the goal line, as the Vikings amassed just three first-downs, the fewest in team history. Minnesota had 13 drives and went three-and-out on nine of them. And Jackson had one of the worst passing games since the NFL-AFL merger, completing 10-of-20 passes for a paltry 50 yards and one interception. Vikings head coach Brad Childress had the quote of the night. When asked if Jackson would start the next week, he told reporters yes, even though "the numbers aren't going to bear out that he did anything of merit."
No. 3: 49ers 10, Bears 6 (Nov. 12, 2009) -- Jay Cutler tossed five picks -- a franchise and career high -- including one in the end zone on the final play, giving the 49ers a ghastly win. How little fear did Cutler strike in the hearts of San Francisco? Mike Singletary faced a 4th-and-6 from Chicago's 34-yard line with under 3:00 left. The 49ers had a choice: attempt a 50-yard field goal and go up by a touchdown, or go for it. Instead, Singletary punted, assuming the Bears couldn't get in the end zone -- he was right. In the win, the 49ers were called for nine penalties, Alex Smith threw for 118 yards, and the team racked up just 216 yards of offense.
No. 2: Colts 12, Broncos 9 (Oct. 6, 2022) -- Matt Ryan looked washed up, Russell Wilson missed his receivers by five yards, and Broncos fans left before overtime. Al Michaels openly complained about just how horrific the proceedings were. While the other games on this list featured at least one awful quarterback, this game had two signal-callers with borderline Hall of Fame resumes. The Broncos were a pathetic 2-for-15 on third downs, and both teams combined for 15 penalties and four turnovers. Amazon owes everyone a free Prime subscription in 2023 for enduring that mess.
No. 1: Cardinals 12, Rams 6 (Dec. 11, 2014) -- The King of Kaka. There's never been another Thursday night game as grotesque and unwatchable as this one. With Carson Palmer injured for the season, Arizona turned to Drew Stanton. Sam Bradford had been lost for the year during the preseason with an ACL tear, which meant Shaun Hill was under center for the Rams. Do we need to keep going? During the game, Stanton was sacked by rookie Aaron Donald, forcing him to also leave with a knee injury.
Third-stringer Ryan Lindley came in relief, going 4-of-10 for 30 yards... in a victory. Arizona overcame five penalties on its first two drives, and cobbled together four field goals from Chandler Catanzaro. Luckily for the Cardinals, the Rams' offense was an abomination. They finished 4-of-15 on third down, had six penalties, and turned the ball over twice. Tre Mason led the Rams in rushing with 33 yards. There's no lower moment in Thursday night history.