Some people go to great lengths to be with the one they love, but a New York Air National Guardsman is finding out the hard way why embellishing his job was not the brightest idea.
25-year-old Ryan Houghtalen from Cicero, New York, was charged with second-degree impersonation of a public servant, a misdemeanor, after telling a woman he met at church that he was in the CIA and that her life was in danger.
The unidentified woman, who thought God was her savior, was told by the Staff Sergeant that he would, in fact, save her from ISIS.
It looks like he didn't have trouble committing to this lie as he showed her a homemade fake CIA ID because after all, we know legit spies love carrying accurate identification.
The fake card carrying spook droned on and on about how terrorists were after them both, but the planned honeymoon crashed and burned before it ever got off the ground.
“He was telling her his job as a CIA agent is very dangerous,” New York State Police spokesman Jack Keller told Syracuse.com, which is especially hilarious given the CIA has officers, not agents (pro-tip: if you're going to lie, at least reference this CIA website).
“He was hoping to use that information to start a relationship with her.”
The way to a woman's heart isn't exactly through her amygdala, the part of the brain considered to be the seat of fear, but that didn't stop him.
“She became nervous and upset because he convinced her her life may be in danger," added Keller.
According to the Air National Guard, Houghtalen enlisted in 2012 and is assigned to the 174th Attack Wing based as a sensor operator of the MQ-9 Reaper unmanned aerial vehicle at Hancock Field near Syracuse, the first Air National Guard base to operate such platforms.