Josh Lannon’s wife, Lisa, gave him an ultimatum during the 2011 Thanksgiving weekend.
That’s when the strain of trying to celebrate the holiday while managing Josh’s drinking became unbearable for Lisa.
On the Sunday after Thanksgiving 24 years ago, she finally said what many families are afraid to say to loved ones: “I’m done, you either go to rehab tonight, or I’m divorcing you.”
That night, the couple drove from their Las Vegas, Nevada, home to a treatment center in Laguna Beach, California, where Josh was finally ready to enter treatment to save their marriage.
Instead of “ruining the holidays,” treatment brought the Lannons relief, clarity, and direction - the first real breath the couple had taken in years.
After going to treatment over the holidays, the Lannons opened treatment centers in Arizona and Utah, and later started Warriors Heart in 2016, with Army veteran and co-founder Tom Spooner and his wife, Laurie.
“Don’t wait until after the holidays if you or a loved one needs help, because moments of willingness open and close quickly, so take action when the window is open,” said Josh.
Warriors Heart is the first private and accredited treatment center in the nation that exclusively helps warriors - military, veterans and first responders - struggling with addiction, PTSD, depression, anxiety, trauma and co-occurring issues.
Based on the experience of the Warriors Heart team, families should take these five substance abuse warning signs seriously during the holidays:
1. Must drink or use during gatherings
2. Pulling away, isolating, or avoiding family events.
3. Irritability, anger, or emotional unpredictability.
4. Showing up intoxicated, smelling like alcohol, or being unable to participate.
5. Recurring crises: arguments, disappearances, or unsafe behavior.
According to Warriors Heart, the holiday season can be an especially hard time to go to addiction treatment, as families often want to “hold it together” until the start of the new year, but addiction doesn’t pause for the holidays and can often deepen the crisis. Here are 5 ways to take action:
1. Name What You’re Seeing - Be calm, compassionate, and direct by saying things such as “I love you, and I will not love you to death. I am going to fight for your life.”
2. Set Clear Boundaries for Holiday Event – Do not allow substances at gatherings. Do not allow anyone to attend if intoxicated. Or create an agreement by telling loved ones: “If your drinking and/or drugging continues, you will go to treatment immediately.”
3. Refuse to Keep the Secret - Addiction grows in silence. Integrity and honesty save lives. Talk to someone or call the person’s “battle buddy” that you trust.
4. Have a Plan Ready - Identify a treatment program, know the admission steps, and be ready to move today. Have a plan for when your loved one says yes.
To help loved ones struggling with addiction over the holidays, make sure the message isn’t about punishment, Josh Lannon said. Instead, convey a message that conveys genuine compassion such as “I love you too much to wait.”
“You are not alone,” he said. “Help is out there.”
Warriors Heart’s 24-hour hotline is 866-955-4035. Calls are answered by warriors or visit here.
Reach Julia LeDoux at Julia@connectingvets.com.