Someone in San Francisco’s Department of Public Health was having fun when they updated the city’s guidance for safe sex during the pandemic.
The tip sheet, which was updated last week ahead of Valentine’s Day, includes both practical and grounded advice as well as some cheeky and blunt information.
Some of the advice is fairly obvious, given what we all know about the spread of COVID-19.
“Hot and heavy breathing” isn’t so hot when the virus spreads primarily through exhalations, so “panting, groaning, moaning or shouting” is especially high risk.
That’s why the city helpfully recommends that you consider wearing a mask if your partner(s) are not part of your household. Anyone who has ever attended the Folsom Street Fair knows that wearing a mask during sex is not a new idea.
Other tips take familiar risk reduction techniques and explain how you can apply them to your sex life.
“Maybe you’d like to watch,” suggests the Department of Public Health, reminding you that there are ways to enjoy yourself (and others) virtually.
Because the CDC defines “close contact” as standing within six feet of someone for 15 minutes or more, if you insist on having sex in person, consider keeping your trysts short. “Quicker can be better,” says the tip sheet - at least when it comes to reducing your risk of COVID - so get in and get out.
Group sex is inherently higher risk, so the city advises people to find a “sex buddy” or keep your partners to a small, stable group. Frustrated singles may be thinking that finding a good “sex buddy” is easier said than done.
Considering the context of the guidelines, the city confusingly reminds residents that outdoor activities are safer than indoors.
“When it comes to COVID-19 risk, outdoors is MUCH better than indoors, and large, well-ventilated spaces are better than enclosed, small, poorly ventilated ones,” the DPH states, although the SFPD may have something to say on the subject of outdoor sex.
And last but not least, the city asks you to consider the age-old question, “Suck it – or not? The virus can also spread through direct contact with saliva or mucus. Which means through licking, tasting, rubbing lips or eyes or face together, or on mouthed or spit-covered toys.”
You can read the full tip sheet for yourself here.