I talk a lot about how much the gym has helped me in #WeightRoomWednesday posts. I talk about the reasons I currently work out a lot:
- It's so great for my confidence and sanity!
- I love thinking about how f***ing WILD it is that my brain cells are instantaneously communicating with my muscles cells through electrical signals, allowing me to move my body (and weights) through time and space. This happens in a fraction of a second, billions of times, each workout.
- The gym is THE best place to listen to Black Label Society and channel my anger through a healthy outlet. It helps with other unpleasant emotions too, but anger is my go-to.
- I want the people I love to be healthy, and I want to love myself, which I'm not always great at. I've found working out, and other healthy actions, to be a nice reminder to my subconscious that I love myself. (This is a very complex, individual topic. These are simply true statements about me. I'm not here to make any implications or projections about anyone else.)
When I woke up yesterday to sunshine, and immediately hid from it to lift and listen to BLS in the gym, it brought me back to those early days in Santa Barbara when I was just starting out my fitness journey. The nostalgia was real, and it dawned on me that I've never really discussed why I started working out almost a decade ago: to get laid.
A little backstory: I grew up insecure about my face, thanks to bullies. I should really put quotes around "grew up" because I'm also 5' 6". Maybe I shouldn't have let bullies, or the amount of girls who prefer taller guys, rattle me so much. They did though. And the amount of things I could do to improve my confidence and appearance was pretty limited...
Height and facial configuration were (and still are) way out of my control. My eyes weren't getting any closer together, and I sure as sh** wasn't getting any taller. (Are early-30's growth spurts a thing?) I had a small-but-growing beer gut and was steadily developing flab in other places it didn't exist before. I knew I could make sure I got and stayed fit. It was the best option that I actually had some power over. I did something about it. I'm glad I did.
So that was my initial "why" behind exercising. Over time, I learned all the other stuff I listed at the top (#3 was the first lesson, chronologically speaking), which I definitely think is more important now. That's why I talk a lot more about those things. While I was lifting earlier, I realized that there are probably others where I once was: not working out and not getting laid as much as they'd like.
People may call it shallow, which is fine. I think the urge to bang is actually one of the deepest human traits we have. I mean, it's literally required for our survival as a species, AND is the reason we're all here. It also feels awesome and is fun!
Now a couple disclaimers I wish I didn't feel compelled to make, but do:
- Wanting to get laid, and trying to get laid through despicable actions, are two totally different things. There's been a lot of despicable actions in the headlines lately. They make me sick. They made me hesitant to write this. I've chosen my words carefully to make the point that it's okay, totally logical, and pretty damn effective, to start working out in hopes that you'll get laid more. I would actually argue that improving yourself (physically or otherwise) is the most noble, righteous way to go about improving your odds.
- Fellas: DON'T CREEP ON GIRLS AT THE GYM! You're there to improve yourself and so are they. I'm very well-aware that it is damn-near impossible not to notice them, but you do not need to be a creep about it. You're not being smooth, they can tell. If you're too rattled to be respectful in the presence of an attractive girl at the gym, you're gonna have a reallll tough time getting laid outside of the gym- with or without those ripped abs, bulging biceps, and chiseled pecs.
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Have fun and do your best,
Certified Personal Trainer and Nutrition Coach (American Council on Exercise; Precision Nutrition)
