Despite Lewis Capaldi saying that his latest album, Broken by Desire to Be Heavenly Sent, is “a record that I love,” it seems that a mix of self-imposed pressures, feelings of being an imposter, and his Tourette’s syndrome, all may eventually make continuing his music career too challenging.
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After his first first album, Divinely Uninspired to a Hellish Extent, went on to sell more than any other in the UK in 2019 it continued on to be the biggest seller in the following year as well. For Lewis that meant expectations were high for album number two. Feeling that type of pressure took its toll physically and mentally.
As Capaldi expressed in his new Netflix documentary How I Feel Now, "making the first album was as close to dreams coming true as you could possibly get… But as soon as the first album does well, it's like 'can he do it again though?'”
Discussing his new documentary during a recent chat with The Sunday Times the Scottish singer opened up about the challenges and pressures around producing his second album — impacted by the pandemic.
Capaldi addressed how his mental health, which includes things like anxiety and his increasingly present imposter syndrome, is affecting his ability to make music. That includes work on his latest album, “a record that I love” with songs he “can’t wait to play” live.
“It’s only making music that does this to me,” he says. “Otherwise I can be fine for months at a time. So it’s a weird situation. Right now, the trade-off is worth it. But if it gets to a point where I’m doing irreparable damage to myself, I’ll quit. I hate hyperbole but it is a very real possibility that I will have to pack music in.”
Lewis also went on to share that its not just the behind the scenes, creative aspect of his job that has started to be affected. When it comes to getting on stage, Capaldi noted his Tourette’s is also presenting challenges, and in some ways impacting one of the aspects he loves most about making music. “My tic is getting quite bad on stage now,” he says. “I’m trying to get on top of that. If I can’t, I’m f***ed,” he said. “It’s easier when I play guitar, but I hate playing guitar.”
Different from his peers, Capaldi notes its not the elements of fame that impacts his mental health in a negative way, rather, it’s the expectations around his work.
“Being famous is easy. You’re out and about and people say hello. What’s hard about that?” he told the outlet, laughing. “The pressure of the job is the problem. The mammoth tours of enormous venues. The expectations upon me. That’s surely anxiety-inducing for anybody, never mind a huge hypochondriac like myself.”
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Audacy's I’m Listening initiative aims to encourage those who are dealing with mental health issues to understand they are not alone. If you or anyone you know is struggling with depression or anxiety, know that someone is always there. Additionally, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 988. Find a full list of additional resources here.