ST. LOUIS, MO (KMOX) - This Valentine's Day, we bring you a story of decades of love and companionship, and a relationship that's reached a new level of devotion and commitment.
Rose Beckerle says she's always been the planner in her 47 year marriage to husband Jack. And now, more than ever, Jack needs someone to help him keep track of the days. "I don't know how many times a day he says, 'I love you for this' ... there's nothing else I would rather do."
In late 2017, Jack started having issues with memory. At the time Jack he was a popular and successful professor at Lindenwood University, highly involved in campus activities. By Fall of 2018, Jack's declining memory couldn't be denied. Jack planned his retirement and the couple sought answers.
A neurologist confirmed it was Alzheimer's.
"To really get the diagnosis I personally went through a stage of denial, depression," admits Rose. "It was hard because both of us were so full of life and we didn't want that to change"
By early 2019, the continuing change in Jack was evident. Instead of hiding what was going on, Rose says they determined to be very open about his diagnosis and found the best way to preserve Jack's dignity was to include their family and close friends in their journey. She says their son Chris, especially, has been her sounding board. And she credits Jack's sister Diane, who had worked with the Alzheimer's Association, for getting them connected early with resources.
They've been able to stay active, even planning two major trips last year -- one to Punta Cana with family, the other to Zimbabwe with their extended Lindenwood family. "I know there were a lot of people who wondered... ...what is she doing with him?!?"
It takes an incredible amount of preparation on Rose's part, to make sure that Jack feels comfortable. "I don't ever want to set him up for failure. Knowing him so well, I know what his limitations are at this point and I work with that."
With Rose as the planner and Jack the one she says has always been happy to go along, they seem to have carved out contentment regardless of an Alzheimer's diagnosis. Rose manages a detailed calendar for Jack to refer to throughout the day... and gives him a honey-do list for when she's at work... so he can still have the satisfaction of contributing.
The fulfilling part of their relationship now is helping Jack be the same man she's known and loved for all these.
"I delight in knowing exactly what those parameters are so I'm keeping him in that safe, joyful area."
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