PHILADELPHIA (KYW Newsradio) — Many people may be thinking about their relationship on Valentines Day, and a professional talks about how it looks to be in a healthy one.
Therapist Briana Bogue, associate director of healthy relationships and wellness programs at Council For Relationships, says there are some key characteristics to successful relationships.
"Couples who have been together for a long time, I see how they're really not afraid to be themselves and they're really not afraid to address the issues when they come up," Bogue said.
She says nobody's perfect and issues will arise.
The question, though, is how do you work through them as a couple.
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"And say, 'listen, I feel like when we make plans you don't always hold them or I feel like you talk about your ex a lot.' If that person can address that with you and say 'yeah, that is going on, this is why or this is how I'm feeling about it.' That's actually a sign of somebody who's willing to be there for you, hear you, work through stuff and grow," she said.
She says respect and decorum that makes for a healthy relationship applies to online dating just as much as it does when meeting people in person.
"In no scenario ever could someone walk up to you in a bar and say the crude and crass things that people say on the internet, and you would be like ready to forgive them and talk to them more," Bogue said.
She says the ability to spot relationship red flags begins with setting a goal for what it is you're trying to achieve by dating.
"If we're clear on what the goal is for dating, then it's harder to overlook things that are not compatible with that goal," she advised.
If you plan a date with someone, for example, and they cancel three times or they simply don't do what they say, she says that could be a problem if left unaddressed.
"Because your actions and your words should always match if you're going to be in a trusting, open, transparent relationship," she added.
