On the latest episode of SHE MD, Dr. Thaïs Aliabadi and Mary Alice Haney sat down with Halsey to discuss the harrowing health journey they kept hidden from everyone, as well as her fertility journey, miscarriage, and more.
LISTEN NOW: SHE MD — Halsey Part 1: Endometriosis, Lupus and The Unfiltered Truth About Living With Chronic Illness
From talking about being diagnosed with endometriosis at the age of 20, to their more recent battle with lupus and a rare T-cell lymphoproliferative disorder, Halsey, who uses she/they pronouns, opened up to SHE MD like she never has before, diving deep into the complexities of living with chronic illness and candidly sharing about her fertility journey, miscarriage, and how it felt to face severe health challenges at a young age while balancing a rising career.
"I miscarried during a concert," Halsey revealed, "I started miscarrying before the show. And I was in a really tough position because it was really early on in my career and there was a lot attached to the show," the musician continued. "There was a corporate partner, there was a greater media entity partner, but more importantly than that to me, there [were] a thousand kids who waited all day long to get into this show and see me.”
Halsey divulged, “What ended up happening was I ended up just putting on an adult diaper.” Adding, "They'd only asked me to perform I think 45 minutes. And I didn't really have that much music out, to be honest with you, so I don't know that I could have played longer.” So, Halsey went on to do the show, revealing that after leaving the stage, she threw up in the parking lot.
“I went to a hotel and I was sick all night. I remember sitting in the bathtub because I just didn't know what to do with all the blood," she recalled. "And then waking up at 5 or 6 in the morning to get on another airplane to go to Canada.”
Going on to note that she was bleeding for hours and that it was tough to be on her feet, Halsey also shared that the concert was filmed, and admittedly was hard to watch back.
"It's funny because when I look at it now, I see myself just white and sweating, and my voice is different," she said. "My voice is guttural. I sound and look like a different person.”
"And I just remember feeling like, 'I don't know who to talk to about this.' Because at the time, the only stories about miscarriage that I had heard were from women who were happily married," they continued.
"And they most of the time would speak about it after they had successfully conceived and carried to term and been like, 'So this happened before this.' It was just a world of information that [wasn't] accessible to me, I just felt so alone. And I remember thinking to myself, 'I'm just 20 years old. I should be able to carry a baby.' I didn't want to be pregnant. I was way involved in my career.” added Halsey.
Halsey who welcomed her son Ender with ex Alev Aydin in July 2021, additionally went on to admit that after their miscarriage she had a lot of "complex feelings,” including feelings of relief, confusion, guilt and grief as they processed what had happened.
As SHE MD states in the episode description, “This episode is a must for anyone who has ever had their pain dismissed or felt alone in their own health journey.” Also making note to be sure to “tune in for Part 2 dropping next Tuesday where Halsey gets even more vulnerable and shares her experience with being a single mom, finding true love and how she overcame postpartum depression with life-changing clinical ketamine infusion therapy.”