Dear Matt,
I’ve been dating Ryan for three years — and it’s good. It’s not great, but good is fine right? Ryan early on introduced me to his best friend, Patrick. At first, I liked Patrick as a friend. But I’m at a point where I think I love Patrick.
I’ve really tried to figure out why I love him. But I think it’s just how nice he is. And I enjoy being around him. Patrick and I have more interests and shared common traits. I just don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to be with Patrick, but is that off the table?
-Triangle Trisha
Dear Triangle Trisha,
OOMPH. I don’t really know if I have enough advice for you on this one. But lemme try…
You need to break up with Ryan. You describe it as ‘good’ which to me seems lackluster at best, right? So removing Patrick from the equation, it sounds like you’re not really interested in Ryan. If Patrick didn’t exist, would you want to be with Ryan? Are you with Ryan just because you want to be with Patrick?
I personally don’t know if I could tell Patrick how I feel. However, you let time pass after the breakup, you could broach the topic. Just be prepared for Patrick to vehemently be against the idea. It’s possible he’s into you as well.
If you do end up with Patrick…well, both of you might have burned your bridges with Ryan. It really depends on how you want Ryan to perceive you, but also Patrick’s morals in this situation. Some best friends would never go after an ex. However, some friend groups are more understanding and tolerant.
The advice here might seem vague — but there’s really no correct road trip or map for this situation. I think you need to approach this situation with respect to both Ryan and Patrick. Good luck navigating.
Just a reminder — there’s a lot of single people out there. Might be easier in the long run…
-
Matt
