Chappell Roan is opening up about the downside of fame, revealing her recent diagnosis with "severe depression” since her sky-rocketing success has catapulted her into the public eye.
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Revealing how her meteoric fame came at a cost to her mental health during an interview with The Guardian, Chappell told the outlet, "I'm in therapy twice a week. I went to a psychiatrist last week because I was like, ‘I don’t know what’s going on.' She diagnosed me with severe depression – which I didn’t think I had because I’m not actually sad. But I have every symptom of someone who’s severely depressed.”
Chappell, who has a handful of songs on the US Hot 100 charts one year into the release of her debut studio album, The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess, admitted she's experiencing brain fog, forgetfulness, poor focus, and has "a very lackluster viewpoint.”
"I think it’s because my whole life has changed," she expressed. "Everything that I really love to do now comes with baggage.” Adding, “If I want to go thrifting, I have to book security and prepare myself that this is not going to be normal. Going to the park, Pilates, yoga – how do I do this in a safe way where I’m not going to be stalked or harassed?”
To that point, Chappell has no time or patience for harassment when she’s clocked in either, which she fully demonstrated while walking the red carpet at the MTV VMAs. Roan went viral for telling off an outspoken and rude photographer. “I’m very turned off by the celebrity of it all," she noted. "Some girls have been in this so long that they’re used to that, but I’m not that girl. I’m not gonna be a sweetie pie to a man who’s telling me to shut the f*** up,” she added about the red carpet moment that rubbed her the wrong way.
Even ahead of the red carpet occurrence at the VMAs, Chappell has expressed the same sentiments before in an IG post she shared in late August. Addressing invasive fan behavior, Chappell wrote — "For the past 10 years l've been going nonstop to build my project and it's come to the point that I need to draw lines and set boundaries. I want to be an artist for a very very long time." She continued, "I just need to lay it out and remind you, women don't owe you s***. I chose this career path because I love music and art and honoring my inner child, I do not accept harassment of any kind because I chose this path, nor do I deserve it.”
“When I’m on stage, when I’m performing, when I’m in drag, when I’m at a work event, when I’m doing press… I am at work. Any other circumstance, I am not in work mode. I am clocked out. I don’t agree with the notion that I owe a mutual exchange of energy, time, or attention to people I do not know, do not trust, or who creep me out, just because they’re expressing admiration. Women do not owe you a reason why they don’t want to be touched or talked to,” she explained. “This has nothing to do with the gratitude and love I feel for my community, for the people who respect my boundaries, and for the love I feel from every person who lifts me up and has stuck with me to help the project get to where it is now.”
Continuing her plea, she added, "Please stop touching me. Please stop being weird to my family and friends. Please stop assuming things about me. There is always more to the story & I am scared and tired. And please don't call me Kayleigh,” referring to her legal first name. ”I feel more love than I ever have in my life. I feel the most unsafe I have ever felt in my life."
While the singer is aware some fans might not fully understand her stance on clocking in and out, it won't stop her from speaking her truth. "They think I’m complaining about my success," she said. "I’m complaining about being abused.”
But what they might not understand is, despite her musician and creative dreams coming true, with such a quick transition from total anonymity to household name, it all has taken a massive mental toll on the young star.
“Every time I walk through my front door, it just comes out of me," she told The Guardian. "I can’t even help it, I just start sobbing and either being so angry at myself for choosing this path, or grieving how the curiosity and pure wonder I had about the world is somewhat taken away from me.”
Noting that some relatable stars have reach out to check in on her, Chappell revealed, "I was warned that it’s going to feel like going through puberty again – my body does feel different," she said. "It’s holding tension in a very different way, I have all these new emotions and I’m really confused. It’s how it felt to be 12.”
"I look at [Lady] Gaga and even Sabrina [Carpenter] and Lana [Del Rey]. When I see them going out in public, I can’t even imagine how much they’ve had to prepare for that.”
Check out Chappell IG post below, and to read her entire interview with The Guardian — click HERE.
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Audacy's I’m Listening initiative aims to encourage those who are dealing with mental health issues to understand they are not alone. If you or anyone you know is struggling with depression or anxiety, know that someone is always there. Additionally, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 988. Find a full list of additional resources here.
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