She saw him banging on the headrest (It wasn't me)
Heard the complaints that he told her (It wasn't me)
Felt the blows get stronger (It wasn't me)
"It kinda looks like him," Jason Bishop responded.
"I don't think it's him," Cakes added.
It is not Ben. (Seriously, it wasn't me.)
"But who's Ben?" EB wondered aloud, forgetting the numerous times we have chatted as he gets his SkinnyPop Popcorn out of his secret hiding space. "Oh, Ben that guy down there that writes stories."
Yup. That's me. I am Ben and I am bald, bearded and bespectacled.
But I am 100 percent, not the bald, bearded, bespectacled guy pummeling the headrest on that airplane.
But, first, not to step on the toes of Bald Community President, Larry David, what is this guy doing? He is ruining our good name and bringing dishonor to our wonderfully shaped heads. He has gone out there and tarnished a sterling reputation for the balds. And done serious damage to those of us who are triple threats in the Three B community.
So the women in front of you reclined her seat, it was uncomfortable. It is a plane. It is always uncomfortable. Hitting the back of her seat? What are you doing? You are making us all look bad. What happened to the fellowship of the follicly-challenged?
In this instance, the lone-bald man is obviously in the wrong. Shame on him for harming our reputation.
But, while not excusing his actions, should this woman (or any person) recline their seat on an airplane?
"I have made it a personal thing where I won't recline," EB said. "But I do think that you have the right to do it, we all have the right to do it, in theory, if we all recline, we'd all have the equal amount of space."
Again, EB is close but not quite there.
"It's a very divisive issue," Cakes countered. "I am in the camp of you should never recline on an airplane, because there's limited space already."
Overall, reclining one's seat on an airplane is an inconsiderate gesture. But punching the back of a reclined seat is beyond inconsiderate and an awful act.
Don't do be like that guy, who is definitely not me.