UPDATE: Unfortunately, Advil, a massage gun, four Jolt colas, promises of another dinner at Yardbird, and even threat of euthanization were not able to put Danny Rouhier's leg back together again, and he was ruled OUT of the Junkies Pickleball Challenge.
When reached for comment Saturday morning at (his retirement) home, Danny was mumbling incoherently, and all we could make out was "Sam Howell...rebrand...tweakage...creamy Dutch Gouda...DINKDONKS."
All bits aside, though, Danny did legitimately seriously injure his groin on Friday, so please send him well-wishes on Twitter @funnydanny!
And now, the original breaking news item from Friday...
BREAKING NEWS: Danny Rouhier has been downgraded to doubtful for the Junkies Pickleball Challenge on Saturday due to what sources close to the situation (aka Danny himself) are calling a tweaked left groin suffered in pre-tournament warm-ups.
“I am down in the dumps, because I have been as excited about this event as any of the Junkies, and my dream was to dominate so much that they would have to discuss my prowess on the radio,” Danny said. “But in a little tune-up match today…my left groin, I tweaked it. I will try all the modern medicine I have at my disposal – Advil, my massage gun at home – but I am officially listed as doubtful, and I am so upset about it.”
Had the tournament been today, Danny would have had to withdraw with groinal tweakage, and in NFL terms, the doubtful designation means there’s a 90 percent chance he won’t pull a Willis Reed and walk down the tunnel/halls at Meridian HS in Falls Church tomorrow morning with his head held high and his groin less pulled.
There was apparently some scuttlebutt on the hot pickleball blogs that the “injury” might be a ruse to get Danny some sympathy if he does pull a Willis Reed, or that he might have one of the producers wheel him out in a wheelchair before miraculously being cured.
Sorry, pickleball truthers, but Danny legitimately is hurt, so much so that he offered to show us the bruise multiple times before we had to threaten to call HR.
“I hope you get to play,” Grant Paulsen said. “I know how much this means to you.”
“Schtick aside, it’s not fun to not be able to do something you really want to do,” Danny replied. “Everyone with kids knows weekends are harder than weekdays with all the activities, so I cleared everything for Saturday to do this because it’s hard to find time to play.”
Related
The weird part? IT’S NOT A GAME INJURY!
“In between points, there was a worm on the court, and I tried to do a kick like you’re passing a soccer ball to flick the worm off the court – and as soon as I did that, I felt the tweak,” Danny revealed. “I’m so old…that’s some old guy stuff right there.”
Grant is hoping for an Adam Banks recovery, and Danny is hoping for a Daniel LoRusso recovery, and we’re just hoping Danny isn’t home watching the Mighty Ducks or Karate Kid tomorrow!
The Junkies Pickleball Challenge is at Meridian HS in Falls Church tomorrow, and we’ll have the Junks and Adam Epstein live on the air on both 106.7 The Fan and The Team 980 from 8am-1pm!
Follow Grant & Danny on Twitter: @granthpaulsen & @funnydanny
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