“I will be heartbroken if the Commanders hire Dan Quinn to be their next head coach. I will be gut punched. I don't dislike Dan Quinn; I think he's a really good leader of men and a good football coach, but someone else should hire him. It's not a fit here.”
As he specifically requested to be the lead, the above is Grant Paulsen’s immediate reaction when discussing the news that the Cowboys’ defensive coordinator is receiving an in-person second interview for the Commanders’ head coaching gig this week.
“There are too many really high-end opportunities for them this cycle, with great potential for many years to have some young ascending star coach flourish and be your guy for 15 years than to, in my opinion, settle on Dan Quinn,” GP continued. “Josh Harris, listen up: You bought this thing for $6 billion so you could hand the reins over to Dan Quinn? I would be crestfallen if they hire Dan Quinn. To me, it's Rivera-ish. Stop me if you've heard this before: retread defensive coordinator who got to a Super Bowl that time? No! Don’t do this.”
A simple 28-3 would have sufficed, or mentioning Quinn was the only possible hire he gave an F to last week, but it did not, nor does it for Daniel Kirk Rouhier.
“I would not feel jubilant. I wouldn't be doing spin kicks. It would feel safe, solid, okay, because he’s a good football coach, and I've watched him make chicken salad over the last couple of seasons,” Danny said.
“Safe, solid, and okay…where do I sign up for that? Buy your tickets now!” Grant snarked back. “Everything here’s been exciting, fun, and sexy…everything's been a thong, and he's trying to be granny panties.”
Underwear proclivities aside, yeah, right on GP.
“I am in lock step with you. This to me is a chance for that second-deck grand slam, highlight reel, we've played this one on YouTube a million times hires,” Danny said. “Dan Quinn would be a, ‘this guy's a good football coach.’ There's nothing wrong with that, but there's more right. That's how I feel. I wouldn't be as devastated or crestfallen as you. I would go, ‘okay, solid.’ They got a couple of homers, Adam Peters, they've done some great things, now they did some fine things. That would be fine, but I don't want fine.
I want the ‘everyone else wanted the dude, nobody could have him except for us because he chose us’ kind of feel. This would be a ‘we're willing to give this guy another shot’ type feel, and that's not as exciting to me.”
And then the Paulsen dagger.
“Don't hire Dan Quinn, Adam Peters. If you really want to hurt me, just kick me in the shin,” Grant said. “If you really wanna get me sad and upset, just take a bat to my legs instead.”
Take a listen to every other adjective Grant threw out about the idea, and where he feels about other possible candidates, above.
