Recently reinstated from a yearlong suspension, Jaguars receiver Calvin Ridley says he feels “stronger than ever,” ready for a chance at redemption after making what he describes as “the biggest mistake of my life.”
“I f---ed up,” said Ridley, who, while taking a leave of absence to address his mental health, downloaded a sports betting app on his phone, ultimately betting $200 on a parlay that included the Atlanta Falcons, who he was playing for at the time. “I was just doing it to root on my boys, basically. I didn’t have any inside information. I wasn’t even talking to anybody on the team at the time. I was totally off the grid.”
Though the NFL, for integrity purposes, strictly prohibits players and coaches from betting on games, many felt the punishment didn’t fit the crime, making an example out of a young, impressionable player who, in a moment of weakness, made an honest mistake. For Ridley, the suspension was rock bottom, the culmination of years of suffering, confronting lingering childhood trauma while trying to be a positive role model for his own daughter. It didn’t help that Ridley was playing through a broken foot, relying on Toradol injections—among other team-administered healing agents—to numb the pain.
“I was devastated,” said Ridley, giving a detailed account of his struggles, both on and off the field, in The Players’ Tribune. “I was under so much pressure to be out there. I got the surgery and rushed back, but I showed up to camp just mentally drained. I still couldn’t plant without painkillers. So you get trapped in this cycle where it’s like, ‘If you take this pill, you can run.’”
Ridley says his anxiety spiked after armed burglars robbed his house during a game, plundering the home for jewelry and other keepsakes. Fearing for his family’s safety, Ridley told the Falcons he couldn’t travel to London for their game against the Jets, electing to stay behind with his wife and daughter. “My wife was traumatized. She couldn’t sleep at night. She couldn’t stand me being out of the house,” said Ridley, who led the Falcons with 1,374 receiving yards during his breakout 2020. “That’s when I really just started to feel the weight of the world on my chest.”
Acquired by Jacksonville at last year’s trade deadline, Ridley says he’s anxious for a fresh start, joining a potent Jaguars receiving corps led by Christian Kirk, Zay Jones, Evan Engram and Marvin Jones Jr. “If I’m healthy? With Trevor Lawrence? I’m giving Jacksonville 1,400 yards a season, period,” said the former first-round pick. “It feels so good to be back home in Florida, where this dream started, with a clean slate. But I also want to make it clear that I don’t have a bad word to say about the Falcons or the city of Atlanta. That’s still my second home, and where my daughter was born. I tried to give y’all everything I had, until the wheels came off.”
Between his difficult upbringing growing up in foster care and the pressure of playing football at its highest level, the 28-year-old has been to Hell and back, but it sounds like he’s plenty motivated, embracing the challenge of reinventing himself after a year away from a sport Ridley says “saved [his] life.” “I know I have a debt to pay back to the game,” Ridley admitted. “That’s why I want people to know my whole story, and know that I never meant to tarnish this game.”