BURNS (WBEN - Brendan Keany) - On Saturday, three high school students from Dansville were killed in a devastating car accident that ultimately killed four and left another injured.
Front seat passenger, Kelsi A. Bird, 16 of Dansville, NY was taken by Mercy Flight to Strong Memorial Hospital for multiple non-life threatening injuries and was the only person wearing a seat belt during the collision. The operator, Rebecca L. Earner, 16 of Dansville, NY and the other three occupants, Ambra E. Eddleton, 16, Justin D. Carpenter, 14 and Kyrstin L. Wolfanger, 14 all of Dansville, NY, were pronounced at the scene.
In the face of tragedy, Certified Bereavement Counselor Day Cummings says everyone reacts differently.
"Initially after a tragedy like this, oftentimes people are in a state of disbelief," said Cummings. "It takes quite a while if you have a sudden, tragic death like this for people to really be able to grasp what has happened, not only through the kids that they knew, but how it impacts the whole community. What you'll typically see is that the more sudden the death, the longer it is, oftentimes, until people start to grieve."
According to Cummings, when tragedy takes someone who's younger, classmates often go to the site because they want to see exactly where their friends died, and many times, they'll want to find a piece of the car or something that links them back to their friend, while others may be extremely apprehensive to ever view the site or even go down that road or intersection ever again.
Cummings is also imploring parents to talk to their kids.
"Particularly with classmates, what you see is them feeling more sad, isolating themselves, not doing well in school, perhaps doing some risky behaviors such as substance use, shoplifting and things similar to that," she said. "Some kids will over-excel; their grades may go up because they want to make their classmates, who are no longer here, proud of them."
As far as the grieving process goes, Cummings says that everyone needs to remember and honor those lost in their own way.
"Grief isn't fixable; it's manageable, and you learn over time to accept it, but you can't take it away," said Cummings. "Trying to say, 'Well, we've got to get on with this,' and 'It's over,' you do both the teens who are grieving and the families who are grieving a disservice, let alone the person who died. We all need to remember, this isn't about getting over it; we need to remember them on honor the place that they had in their life."
