BUFFALO, N.Y. (WBEN) It's like ripping a Band-Aid off or re-opening a wound. Ten days after a jarring mass shooting in Buffalo, that killed ten innocent people, another mass shooting has rocked America.
"Re-traumatization is what we try to prevent," said Dr. Michael Cummings on WBEN Wednesday. The mass shooting that killed 19 children and two adults in Uvalde, Texas is hitting close to home for many in Buffalo who are still working through the trauma of the Tops shooting on Jefferson Avenue.
"This horrific event will certainly pose challenges, not just for folks in Texas, or in Buffalo, but for everyone affected by these two events," said the psychiatrist at the University of Buffalo and Associate Medical Director at ECMC.
How to talk to your children about this
"Because this is so raw, the first thing is to figure out where we are emotionally as adults. And as adults, we may need to reach out for support if we have to," said Cummings.
"Then, we have to have a conversation with our kids. That involves time and space and sharing accurate information," he said. You're not going to make things worse by having the conversation with your child. But you want to be careful. Allow your child to ask questions and respond in an accurate fashion and at an age-appropriate level. If it's a young child, we don't have to provide a lot of details. But we can't leave a lot of blanks because our children will fill those blanks in with whatever they see on TV or on social media."
Cummings noting that it is going to be a heavy lift for families and schools over the days and weeks ahead.
If a child doesn't want to go to school
"Listen to them, validate their reactions, and let them be heard," Cummings said. "Reassure them that they're safe." Schools, he said, are doing the same thing now, reaching out to families in their districts.
"It's important to keep kids on a routine, and to be around other people." Cummings said you don't want your child to become socially withdrawn. But if a child is really struggling, with anxiety, fear and negative thoughts, a parent has to use their best judgement and reach out to a family physician, guidance counselor, social worker or church.
"This is not a time that you want your child to be processing this alone in their room," said Cummings. "This is a time to be around your children more so than in the past."
Schools are safe havens for children
Cummings said schools are safe places and our local school officials do a wonderful job fostering that safety. "We need to reassure our children that they are safe, despite what we are all processing right now. Having a sense of community and having a sense of belonging is how we heal."
There are federal online resources available for families, parents and students. Dr. Cummings suggests on an individual level, to reach out to loved ones and people you trust, such as a primary care doctor, mental health professionals, the church community.
ECMC has a help center that is open 7 days a week from 8am through 10:30pm. The phone number is 716-898-1594. They can also find an agency that is closer to you or might be a better fit. "Resources are out there," he said. "You just have to take the first step. And do not feel it's a sign of weakness. I do this for a living and I'm struggling with this right now," he added.
