The idea that your kids could someday cut you out of their lives is unthinkable for many parents. But, according to experts, it’s a reality.
In a survey conducted by family sociologist Karl Pillemer, 27% of Americans were estranged from a relative. Another study in 2023 by Rin Reezek found that adult children who go no-contact with a parent do so around age 23 to 26. About 6.3% of people reported estrangement from their mothers, compared to about 26% who were estranged from their fathers.
“We’re trying to engage our kiddos in a way that will open conversations, not shut them down,” said Pam Lanhart, Director of Thrive Family Recovery Resources. Lanhart founded the organization in 2016 as a result of the lack of resources and awareness she felt while navigating her son Jake’s addiction and recovery.
In 2024, Thrive was awarded funds from the Washington County opioid settlement, which are supporting the organization’s Strengthening Families Program. The 10-week, free program begins its second cohort on Tuesday, September 23, and is meant to provide families with the tools necessary to support and strengthen relationships.
“We hear all the news headlines of kids committing crimes, overdosing, and all of these problems,” Lanhart said. “While it’s never mom or dad’s fault, it is something we can look at and make sure as parents we’re not making things worse, we’re making things better in our family.”
Thrive’s Strengthening Families Program is a relational skill-building workshop for the entire family designed to facilitate less arguing, more respect, and less stress in the home. The program strives to improve kids’ behavior, performance in school, and ability to avoid alcohol and drugs.
The program is also designed to help parents.
Lanhart says one of the educational sections focuses on problem-solving collaboratively. “So as parents, instead of saying, ‘you need to share’ or ‘you need to follow the rules,’ the new approach is a family meeting.” Lanhart explained the idea is to identify the problem as a family unit. For example, if you have one bathroom and everyone is trying to get ready in the morning, families identify the problem and solutions to manage it.
“Kids have a voice at the table,” Lanhart explained. “They learn problem-solving skills, and guess what it does? It creates agreement and bonds the family together instead of everybody being in conflict.”
The Strengthening Families Program is proven to work and taught in all 50 states and 36 foreign countries. Classes for the upcoming 10-week session begin with orientation on Sept. 23 and are open to families with children ages 7 to 17. The program runs from 5:30 p.m. to 8 p.m., is free, and includes a meal. Learn more here.