Suicide in preteens, especially girls, is climbing. According to the National Institutes of Health, the worrisome rate has risen 8% annually since 2008. One of the top reasons is bullying.
For autism advocate Sheletta Brundidge, news that her sixth grade daughter Cameron, who is on the spectrum, had been bullied by a classmate came as a shock.
“I’m hyper-vigilant about changes in my kids and I hadn’t seen anything from her that raised any red flags,” said Brundidge.
Brundidge got a call after 11-year-old Cameron reported the behavior of a classmate to her counselor. The bullying started after Cameron accidentally sat in the boy’s chair at an orchestra concert. When he asked her to move, she didn’t hear him because other students were playing their instruments. His behavior escalated over several weeks, from throwing pencils at her to telling her he had a gun.
“I started to feel scared and threatened,” Cameron recalled.
The danger posed by bullying made national headlines in the past month with two 11-year-old girls, one in Texas and the other in Illinois, dying by suicide as the result of bullying. An 11-year old boy in Ohio took his life as well, his parents have filed a lawsuit against the school district for not doing enough to prevent him from being bullied.
Students at Cameron’s Cottage Grove middle school are encouraged to report bullying as defined in the South Washington County School District’s policy which states, “Any person who believes he or she has been the target or victim of bullying or any person with knowledge or belief of conduct that may constitute bullying shall report the alleged acts immediately to an appropriate school district official.”
Despite that, Cameron didn’t say anything, which her mother found uncharacteristic. Brundidge learned that fear kept Cameron silent.
“She's a little boss lady. She's very vocal at home with me, her dad and brothers and is an advocate for kids with autism,” Brundidge said. “But this young man said he had a gun. She was concerned he’d shoot up the school and worried about her safety and the safety of her friends.”
Cameron’s silence did not surprise professionals who work with youth.
“Many kids stay quiet about bullying because of shame and a loss of control. They may feel embarrassed, believing the bullying is their fault or that speaking up will make them seem weak,” said Brandon Jones, executive director of the Minnesota Association for Children's Mental Health.
Jones said creating a safe and open environment where kids feel comfortable sharing is key.
“Instead of yes-or-no questions, ask open-ended ones like, ‘Has anything been making you feel uncomfortable at school?’ or ‘Who do you like spending time with at lunch?’ Let them know they’re not alone and you’re there to support them,” he said.
Cameron says she wants to share her experience with others and has plans to create a video to share with school districts across the state, “I want other little girls to know how I felt and not suffer in silence,” Cameron said.
Brundidge has now spoken with school officials, filed a police report and had a heart-to-heart with her young daughter.
“We talked about her using her voice to be bold and brave. She’s speaking up and speaking out,” Brundidge said.