The news of a murder-suicide in Hopkins Wednesday is hitting those in the domestic violence prevention world hard.
"It's absolutely heartbreaking," says Noureen Wallani, director of programs at the Domestic Abuse Project. "What we know about domestic violence is that it impacts everybody. It affects families. It affects communities. It affects all of us."
Wednesday morning, police in Hopkins, Minnesota say a man killed a woman and their child at a home daycare they own before taking his own life. Hopkins Police Chief Brent Johnson said another parent called authorities after witnessing the attack while dropping off a child at the daycare.
"There's this real large belief that this isn't a problem for us," Wallani explains. "It doesn't impact us. This is something that happens in other places, other areas, other people, other communities. And sadly what we do know about domestic violence is that over a lifetime, more than one in three women and one in six men experience physical, sexual violence or stalking by a partner."
She says there is still a misconception that domestic violence is limited to certain people, in certain neighborhoods. But the evidence clealry shows it knows no bounds, and while it's being talked about more these days, there is still a great deal of shame that prevents some from coming forward.
"I mean, I think of some of the clients I work with who even as I'm working with, they're experiencing it, and they'll actually downplay the lethality involved in their experience," says Wallani. "So they'll admit that this person's controlling or abusive, but they might not tell me until later, oh yeah, he strangled me."
She says many downplay the abuse, hoping that the person will one day become the person they first came to love.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, please seek support here.
"It's absolutely heartbreaking," says Noureen Wallani of the Domestic Abuse Project
"It's absolutely heartbreaking," says Noureen Wallani of the Domestic Abuse Project
