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So Rob Gronkowski, the tight end with the body of Ivan Drago and the soul of Will Ferrell, is retiring.
Gronkowski has been an epic pain to Jets fans and football fans for much of the last decade. An impossible hybrid of size, speed and dexterity, Gronk has ended too many routes in the end zone, another TD from Tom Brady, followed by his seismic spike. Impossible to tackle, and almost impossible to dislike, Gronk is not immune to the bone-crunching realities of the NFL and is bowing out because of chronic back pain.
Of course, few of us expect him to exit the NFL and become the twerking mascot at every big-ticket party on land, sea and air for the rest of his life (not to mention he's just 29, and his agent, Drew Rosenhaus, can't make money unless his goofball plays football). There's a fair chance he chills for six months, feels no pain -- other than boredom -- and dances his way back onto the gridiron.
But for now let's assume Gronk is done, and what that means to our local football clubs. Beyond the tortuous touchdowns he's scored, particularly on the Jets, Gronk is not only a sublime player but also a symbol, an emblem of what the Jets and Giants have lacked the last few years. For all his histrionics and spastic, adolescent gestures, Rob Gronkowski is tough as a two-dollar steak.
Though Gang Green and Big Blue feel positive about their tight end position, the Giants haven't had a TE who put poisonous fear in NFL defenses since Mark Bavaro. The iconic former Giant had some kind words for Gronkowski, citing his 79 scores and declaring him a no-doubt Hall of Famer (coincidentally they both played nine years in the league).
Like Gronk, Bavaro could block or catch clutch passes, and no one who was alive and lucid on Dec 1, 1986 can forget when Bavaro carried half the 49ers defense on his back during that romp down the middle of Candlestick Park. While Big Blue has big hopes for Evan Engram, who has surreal speed for someone his size, we still don't know how dominant he will be.
The Jets, rarely confused for a team bubbling over with toughness, have seen the business end of Gronkowski's talent for too long. Thumbing through their TE Rolodex hardly bears HOF fruit. From Johnny Mitchell to Kyle Brady to Anthony Becht to Dustin Keller, Gang Green has used first-round picks on the position and crapped out each time.
So, of course, the Jets hit their point with a fourth-round pick, Chris Herndon. It provides the twin-fortune of having the spot locked up this season and not having to dig deep into a draft that is, by all accounts, light on tight ends.
Still, no matter how fast and nimble Engram may be, no matter how high we may be on Herndon, we would be foolish to predict that either will wind up in Canton, which is where Rob Gronkowski will end his pro football career. But more than his yards, touchdowns and childlike glee during all of it, Gronk reminded us that pro football is a game played by huge men with violence and toughness, where intimidation is just as important as every X and O on the whiteboard.
For the first time in a long time, both the Jets and Giants have talent at tight end. And now that they won't lose to Rob Gronkowski, our local NFL clubs can learn from him.