Aaron Rodgers will use four-day ‘darkness retreat’ to determine his NFL future


“You merely adopted the dark. I was born in it.”

Making his weekly appearance on The Pat McAfee Show, Aaron Rodgers said he’s no closer to making a decision on his NFL future, but is confident an upcoming “isolation retreat” will help him arrive at something resembling clarity.

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“There’s a little slot where they drop in some food for you. But it’s isolation, darkness. No music, no nothing,” said Rodgers, equating the “sensory deprivation” of complete darkness to the hallucinatory sensation of DMT and other psychedelics. “I’ve had a number of friends do it and they’ve had profound experiences.”

The idea of Rodgers paying money to spend four nights in total darkness, completely closing himself off to the outside world, sounds implausible almost to the point of satire. However, a quick Google search confirms that such retreats do exist, an advanced meditation exercise with roots in Tibetan Buddhism.

As you’d expect, the social media masses had plenty of fun at Rodgers’ expense, openly mocking the quarterback for resorting to such extreme measures in his ongoing quest for enlightenment.

Rodgers’ spiritual journey of late has led him to explore the far reaches of his inner consciousness, experimenting with ayahuasca while also gaining a deeper appreciation of astrology and alternative medicine. While Rodgers’ intellectual curiosity is admirable in some sense, his volatility has also been a frequent source of frustration, displaying all the familiar symptoms of a man experiencing a midlife crisis. Some have speculated the Packers would be relieved to see Rodgers move on, providing a sense of closure after years of being held hostage by a declining player who can’t seem to make up his mind.

Still only a year removed from earning league MVP honors, Rodgers, despite his baggage, should attract plenty of trade interest this offseason, though the veteran recently told fans at Pebble Beach that if he does play for a team other than the Packers, it won’t be his hometown Niners.

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Featured Image Photo Credit: Jed Jacobsohn, Getty Images