Mike Valenti was bothered by the Super Bowl in a number of ways, from the commercials to the game itself. But "the biggest problem I had is Tom Brady."
Brady just finished the first season of a 10-year, $375 million contract to be the lead commentator for the NFL on FOX, replacing Greg Olsen alongside Kevin Burkhardt. His last broadcast of his first season should go down as "his swan song," says Valenti:
"That was one of the worst Super Bowl broadcasts in history. He’s a malignant narcissist, a Collagen-filled, dull robot. Enough. And it is the oldest saying in the book that money does not buy taste. Money does not buy class. Tom, you spent 740-grand on that watch, it looks like you found it in a Happy Meal. Get the hell out of here. He is awful. On every level."
Valenti went on to say that every comment Brady made about the game was somehow tied to himself: "'You know, I was once down by a lot in a Super Bowl.’ Tom, just call the game."
"Christ. Tom is terrible. Who the hell can stand the guy? How awkward! What happened to the days when we hired analysts that had personalities? That you wanted to have a beer with? Who’s having a beer with him!? He’s busy selling you avocado ice cream. That’s sociopath behavior."
Valenti's solution?
"Get rid of the guy. $350 million, he’s a waste. He’s a zero! Can’t stand it. Free Greg Olsen! Bring him back! I’m sorry, I’m not sorry."