‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the White House,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes no MAGA fans would dare be there.
The First Family was nestled all snug in their beds;
While visions of Hunter’s laptop danced in their heads;
And Jill in her ‘kerchief, and Joe in his cap,
The President remained in a long, continuous nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Joe sprang from his bed to see what was the matter;
Away to the window he flew in a flash,
Jumping over a box full of illegal China cash.
The moon on the breast of the South Lawn snow,
Gave the luster of illegals with nowhere to go;
When, what to his wondering eyes did appear,
But the team of cable hosts Joe had come to fear.
With all those hosts so lively and quick,
Joe knew for the Democrats he was no longer their pick;
More rapid than spreading the lies they all came,
And Joe whistled, and shouted and called them by name.
Now Doocy, now Tucker, now Ingraham - that vixen,
They fought to distinguish between Trump and Nixon;
To the top of the porch! To the top of the White House wall,
They relished in watching old Nancy Pelosi fall.
So up at the White House the questions they flew,
With the border crisis looming and low approval ratings, too;
And then, in a twinkling, I heard Joe say;
“I am awake - at least for part of the day.”
Joe dressed to impress from his head to his feet,
And his fall while biking gave the media a picture to tweet;
A bundle of bills he hoped Republicans backed,
But he knew their support is what he lacked.
Joe’s eyes - how they twinkled! Hidden behind his aviator glasses,
He wanted Mitch McConnel and Kevin McCarthy to kick their asses;
Joe’s droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And what hair he had left was as white as the snow.
Joe was lean and tall, a right jolly old elf,
And he continued the lies, in spite of himself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head;
Joe knew Marjorie Taylor Greene was something to dread.
Joe spoke many words, and went straight to work,
The Fox News hosts laughed - they thought he was a jerk.
And making the gestures that he might run,
The polls kept showing his political years were done.
Joe sprang to his feet - to his staff he gave a shout,
Reality looked like in 2024 he would be out.
But I heard him exclaim as he wobbled out of sight,
Merry Christmas to all, I know I piss off the right!
