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Scoot: Is 2024 really going to be about couch sex and plastic straws?

Couch JD Vance
Getty Images / Illustration by WWL

Vice President Kamala Harris, who is clearly the dominant Democrat in the selection of a new nominee, is being attacked for her position on plastic straws. J.D. Vance, Donald Trump’s vice presidential pick, is being fact-checked on whether he had sex with a couch! And you’re not interested in the 2024 presidential campaign?

These crazy times are getting crazier and the Democrats don’t even have a nominee yet.


One might think that a near-death situation would change a person and make them more reflective, but in the case of former President Donald Trump, a bullet coming within inches of killing him during a campaign rally has not changed him and Trump told the crowd at another rally, “I’m not gonna be nice!”

Trump told the crowd at a rally in Charlotte, NC, “These are nasty people, the Democrats.”  Trump is choosing to blame ALL Democrats for the actions of a mentally unbalanced 20-yr-old’s assassination attempt.  “We better beat them or we’re not gonna have a country left.  You’re not gonna have a country left.  So now we have a new victim to defeat.  Lyin’ Kamala Harris.” Trump told his supporters.  He went on to call Harris a “radical left lunatic.”

Fox News host Steve Doocy said on “Fox & Friends,” that one major liability for Kamala Harris is her position on banning plastic straws.  Fox News host Sean Hannity said, “She wants to ban plastic straws? I love my plastic straws!  I hate those paper straws!”

The call to ban plastic straws is not new and it is an idea shared by many.  Plastic straws are a huge environmental problem because they are not recyclable.  In fact, it can take up to 200 years for a plastic straw to decompose.  The plastic straws are a threat to marine and wildlife.  They end up in oceans, rivers, gutters and landfills where they can affect the ecosystems.  Plastic straws have been known to get stuck in the digestive systems of marine and wildlife and cause sickness or death.

Plastic straws are a legitimate concern and some companies, including McDonald’s, have banned plastic straws and replaced them with paper straws.

So, for those who are concerned about our environment, plastic straws are a hazard, but let’s be honest and admit we have much bigger problems than plastic straws hurting and killing living creatures.  But for Steve Doocy to say that Harris’ ban on plastic straws is a “major liability” speaks to the lunacy that is characteristic of the 2024 campaign.

And the fact that The Associated Press took time to do a fact-check on whether Vice Presidential nominee J.D. Vance had sex with a couch is pure insanity.

It has been alleged and spread on social media that in Vance’s bestselling memoir, Hillbilly Elegy, which covers his life as a child growing up in Kentucky, that Vance had sex with a couch.  Allegedly, he positioned a rubber glove between two cushions and you can figure out the rest.  Social media posts included comments about how wrong it would be to have a vice president who had sex with a couch.  One comment mentioned that the voters of North Carolina, where a lot of furniture is manufactured, should be particularly offended!

Well, the AP fact-check found that there is no evidence that J.D. Vance had sex with a couch - or any other piece of furniture.

Beware - social media is a vast wasteland of bullsh*t and everyone needs to be careful what they believe.  It is tempting to believe anything negative about the candidate you oppose, but the desire to hope something is true does not make it true.

There will be more social media quicksand that we will have to wade through as we get closer to November and the goal on our show every afternoon from 1 to 4 on WWL is to sort through it all - using a sifter of common sense.