‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the White House,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes Joe Biden wouldn’t smell some girl’s hair;
The First Family was nestled all snug in their beds;
While visions of COVID danced in their heads;
And Jill in her ‘kerchief, and Biden in his cap,
He continued on what seemed like a continuous nap.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Biden sprang from his bed to see what was the matter;
Away to the widow he flew in flash,
Stubbing his toe on a box with reelection cash.
The moon on the breast of the South Lawn snow,
Gave the luster of chaos waiting below;
When, what to his wondering eyes did appear,
But a team of reporters with questions to fear.
With all the reporters so lively and quick,
Biden knew in a moment he was feeling very sick;
More rapid than spreading a virus they came,
And Biden whistled, and shouted and called them by name.
Now Doocy, now Tucker, now Ingraham - that vixen,
On Cooper, on Lemmon, on Hannity and Wolf Blitzer;
To the top of the ratings with egos so tall,
Now, ask away! ask away! Ask away all!
So up at the White House the questions they flew,
With COVID, the Build Back Bill and low approval rating, too;
And then, in a twinkling, I heard Biden say;
“I am awake - at least for most of the day.”
He was dressed to impress from his head to his feet,
And his aviator sunglasses gave reporters a reason to tweet;
A bundle of initiatives he hoped Republicans backed,
Because support from Joe Manchin was what he lacked.
His eyes - how they twinkled! His dimples how merry,
His cheeks were like roses but he always looked wary;
Biden’s droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the hair on his head was as white as the snow.
He was lean and tall, a right jolly old elf,
And he continued to lie, in spite of himself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head;
Soon let reporters know they had something to dread.
Biden spoke many words, and went straight to his work,
The Fox News reporters laughed and thought he was a jerk.
And making the gestures that he was all done,
Tucker Carlson and Hannity were just making fun.
Biden sprang to his feet to his staff gave a whistle,
Words of more mandates made everyone bristle.
But I heard him exclaim as he walked out of sight,
Merry Christmas to all, and I love pissing off the right!
