Who should use the men’s restroom and who should use the women’s restroom? There was a time when that was an easy question, but the debate over who uses which restroom has gotten extremely complicated because of the idea that people are free to be who they want to be in the United States of America.
There is a bill in the Louisiana legislature that would prohibit transgender individuals from using a public restroom at a school that does not relate to your gender at birth. It’s quite simple: if you were born a boy - you use the men’s restroom and if you were born a girl then you use the women’s restroom. What’s so complicated about that?
Well, the complication comes in when we talk about respecting the right an American has to live a life congruent with their innermost instincts and feelings. In America, there has been a long battle for the rights of homosexuals and most Americans seem to support the idea that if a person is gay, then there should be respect for their right to live life as a gay person.
Being a gay male or female is widely accepted in America today, but recently there has been a new category - trans individuals - that has become the target of hate primarily from Christian groups and conservative Americans.
For those who lack tolerance, there seems to be a fear over anything that is misunderstood or confusing. One of the definitions of “conservative ideology” is resisting change - and the acceptance of trans individuals represents change that is confusing to some Americans. The idea that a person born with or suspected of having a penis is asking to use the women’s room or the idea that a person born with or suspected of having a vagina feels the need to use the men’s room is more than confusing - it’s downright frightening to some people.
The irrational fear is that if men are allowed to use the women’s room then that will invite perverts and pedophiles to enter any women’s room they wish and molest young girls. And what are women doing in the men’s room?
I am quite confident that most of the Americans who harshly condemn trans people have never actually met a real trans person. There are trans men - born with a vagina - who have transitioned to the point of having a full beard, a man’s haircut, no breasts, and dressed in men’s clothes that could not be distinguished from any other man. Should that person use the women’s restroom? If that trans man entered a women’s restroom there would be instant reaction that would probably include calling 911 or alerting nearby security.
Likewise, there are trans women - born with a penis - that have a soft complexion, breasts, a women’s haircut, dressed in women’s clothes, and wearing make-up that could not be distinguished from another woman. Should that person be in the men’s room? There would not be panic because men are used to occasionally seeing women in men’s restrooms at large events where the women’s room has a long wait and straight, cis-gendered women - actual women - are using the men’s restrooms out of necessity. There is also the factor of men lacking the fear of a woman in their restroom that is different from the fear women would feel if they thought a man was in their restroom. I think the ultimate answer is separate restrooms for trans people, but other than places with single-occupancy restrooms, that is currently not reality. I have no doubt that in the near future we will see another restroom category arise for gender non-conforming individuals.
Remember - most of the people with strict judgment against trans people have never knowingly encountered a real trans person.
On my talk show today a listener called in who described herself as a post-op trans person who was born a male but following surgery has a vagina and openly talked about the perspective of a real trans person.
Listen to that conversation with a real trans person and their experience navigating public life and public restrooms in the audio player above.
