After Paul Zeise’s most recent battle with a KDKA-AM microphone, we thought it would be best to look back at some of Zeise’s greatest rants and battles.
BONUS RANT. Paul does not like Light Up Night.
Zeise absolutely goes off on the annual holiday tradition claiming people that don't know how to drive downtown show up and ruin everything.
5. Baseball Hall of Fame is a Joke
“DAVID ORTIZ STERIODS GUY!” Is the perfect way to start a rant about the baseball Hall of Fame. It shows how Paul Zeise knows what he’s talking about and can tell it like it is better than anyone. He will also do it to you while screaming at you but he’s going to tell you like it is.
4. Devin Bush Sr. vs Paul Zeise
The younger Bush was a high draft pick for the Pittsburgh Steelers while recovering from some injuries Paul Zeise called out Bush for underperforming, which led the senior Bush to call out Zeise. Although, this isn’t a traditional rant the back and forth between the two are great. As the two go back and forth, they seem to disagree but at the same time, they look like they do agree? The two eventually get along and it’s less a rant and more about the two just arguing.
However, because of the fun the two had and fun in this list we will count it.
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3. Zeise vs Microphones
It couldn’t be decided which rant is better so you’ll get a two for one. The first absolutely has a recency bias. However, with time, it will age like a fine wine. It’s the perfect encapsulation of the war microphones have taken against Paul. A war that they are winning. As the bumper music is playing, Paul turns his microphone on for his first words of the segment but the microphone speaks first. It seems so planned but if you have ever listened to Paul, you know it’s all natural and that he is reacting live with you. This video perfectly captures the Paul Zeise experience.
There is a reference to another all-time great Zeise rant in the video above where the station mic flag has fallen and hit Paul on the leg. At one point Paul reveled everything in his house is duct tapped, he knows how to weld, and can’t remember what he was talking about
2. Zeise Valentine’s Day Rant from 2020
“Halloween is for kids this one is for suckers” Paul’s ability to take out two beloved holidays in one rant is outstanding. What makes this an all-time Paul Zeise rant are all the great one-liners that are filter throughout the rant.
“If you like this holiday, you’re a sucker.”
“Having been somebody who has been kicked out into the street it an’t so bad; they let you back in eventually.”
“Are these sexy I don’t remember? I don’t remember I’m married now.
One of the greatest parts of Zeise rants are his ability to be a truth teller to everyone. It feels like tuning into Walter Cronkite deliver the news of the day. In this rant, a newly hired Donny Football was the young man Zeise had to education that Valentine’s Day is a scam.
1. Paul Zeise, Vending Machines, Healthy School Lunches, Slice on Broadway
A grumpy, hungry, and annoyed Paul Zeise is a great Paul Zeise. The clip right off the top starts with Paul being so mad he’s not actually speaking English. This rant has absolutely nothing to do with sports (as most of these don’t). It’s so special and number one on our list because Paul cannot focus on one thing for more than 30 seconds at a time. Paul took time out of his show to air some grievances and we were all the ones to hear it.