We’ve heard about helicopter parents (they hover), jet fighter parents (they swoop in and save), and snowplow parents (they clear obstacles).
Now TikTok and parenting experts have identified so-called ‘eggshell parenting’ as another form of parenting that moms and dads may have unintentionally adopted. And, like the other forms of parenting styles, this one also is not-so-good for their young sons and daughters.
“Eggshell parenting is when the child is always walking on eggshells. The child has to be hyper vigilant and prepared for anything because they don’t know what to expect from their parents,” explained Lindy Vincent.
The savvy mother of three offers research-based parenting tips, tricks and advice on her YouTube Channel, Lindy Vincent Living.
In her video tutorials, Vincent stresses the importance of structure, predictability, and routine for children of all ages. She said that eggshell parents fall down on the job and are inconsistent only some of the time, but that leaves their children off balance, forced to “duck and dodge,” not knowing what to expect.
And that, she warned, is where the danger comes in.
“The sad part is that even if a parent is great, loving and supportive most of the time but acts irrational some of the time, the child will never feel safe. Their guard is always up because their parent is emotionally dangerous to them,” Vincent said.
Eggshell parents can be immature and short-tempered, often verbally berating or yelling at their offspring while not being consistent with their efforts at discipline.
“The results can be devastating. This lack of trust can create low self esteem,” she added. “They don’t have the role modeling they need in the home. How do you become a productive member of society when you’re always wondering what’s coming up next with your parents?”
If this behavior sounds a little too familiar, Vincent has some suggestions about how to make changes in the eggshell style.
First, she recommends keeping “a firm grip on the role and responsibility of the parent and of the child” by reasserting your parental authority rather than trying to be your child’s friend.
Then she suggests finding a parent you admire and humbly asking for their guidance.
“Look around for a parenting role model in your community or church, people who have raised some good strong kids,” she advised. “People willing to share their experience. Partner with them and they can help you with the ups and downs.”
But most of all, Vincent encourages people to take an unvarnished look at their parenting style and stop making excuses for their less-than-admirable moments, realizing that their child’s very future is at stake.
“Be honest with yourself. Be introspective,” she said. “If these are some of the behaviors you’re exhibiting, you can make the decision every day to be a better parent. Look at yourself realistically and make some changes. It’s within our own abilities to be a better parent.”
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