PHILADELPHIA (KYW Newsradio) — Making a tackle in the NFL is hard. Catching a touchdown is tough. Winning a Super Bowl sometimes seems impossible. But among the hardest things for players to do in professional sports is live up to the expectations placed on them.
Former Philadelphia Eagle Marcus Smith knows that better than most, as the now-retired 31-year-old was once a first-round draft pick who didn’t quite see his career turn out how he, nor anyone else, hoped it would.
While being a first-round draft pick might seem like a dream for any professional athlete, with the praise comes the pressure, and Smith, who had a great college career at the University of Louisville, felt it from the jump.
“It did affect me in the way that I played, it affected how I see myself. I just felt like I wasn’t worthy. Because the fans, they never gave me a shot in the beginning,” Smith said. “At first, I was just trying to prove them wrong. And then, get approval from my coaches. It just seemed like I couldn’t — no matter what I did, or no matter where I turned. Nothing was good enough.”
Smith shared that the expectations fans, coaches and others had for his career started when he arrived for his first day of work.
“Our special teams coach at the time, the first day I come in [to the Eagles’ training facility after being drafted], he’s telling me the only thing I got to worry about is being a first-round bust,” Smith said. “That was the first introduction that I got to the Eagles.”
Pair the pressure placed on him as a 22-year-old with his personal issues outside of football, and Smith found himself four years into his career, wanting to end his life.
On Aug. 16, 2018, Smith was headed to the Seattle Seahawks training facility when he attempted to end his life.
“Instead of getting help, at the time, I would just rather get rid of the pain, right? Because it was a lot of pain to have to deal with and try to perform,” he said. “And, I’m about to have a kid and my family … somebody was asking me for money every day of the week, no lie. I was just so, so, so far gone.”
Now, almost half a decade after his career ended, Smith is looking back at what could have been if only he was taken in the second round or later.
“I’ve definitely thought about it — what would it have been like if I would have gone in the second or third round — because of the amount of pressure that is put on [first-round picks] to succeed right now,” Smith said. “I wouldn’t trade it, though, for the world, because getting drafted in the first round actually helped me solidify my family at the time.”
Listen to ‘unCovering the Birds’ Episode 5: What’s in a draft bust
New episodes of “unCovering the Birds” drop every Friday. Listen in the Audacy app or wherever you get your podcasts. “unCovering the Birds” is sponsored by Wawa.
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