Boss’ Bachelorette Breakdown: Recapping Episode 5 of The Bachelorette Season 19 “He’s so macho and too cool for school”

A weekly recap of ABC's 'The Bachelorette'.
A weekly recap of ABC's 'The Bachelorette'. Photo credit Laura Boss

It's Boss' Bachelorette Breakdown, Baby! Here's how it works: I watch the show, I drink some wine, I take some notes. Then, I try to make sense of those notes and write a recap for you. So hereeee we go!

This week on The Bachelorette we’re heading to Bruges, Belgium! Wow, it looks beautiful! Currently looking up flights….. Oh wow there’s a roundtrip from Newark to Brussels for $494 on November 4th!!!! I will be looking into this further after completing this recap.

First we see Team Rachel’s Gentlemen having a group meeting. They’re like ‘let’s step it up boys… we kind of suck.’

A group date card is revealed, let’s see who’s going:

Tino

Zack

Meatball

Ethan

Tyler

Logan

So that means Aven gets the 1 on 1 date this week!

The guys are like ‘aw shucks, lucky you Aven’ and Logan’s thinking he doesn’t want to go on the group date because he doesn’t want to date Rachel. He (and the producers) decide to go to Rachel’s room and tell her how he’s feeling. I will say he does a fairly decent job of explaining his feelings without coming off like a complete you know what, but obviously it’s hard for Rachel to take another dude telling her ‘no thanks, not interested.’

He explains that he had a connection with both Rachel and Gabby and really thought Gabby would be the one to give him the rose. Rachel’s like ‘but you’ve accepted so many roses from me…. Wish you would have stopped doing that earlier….’ Fair.

Logan leaves and Rachel has a complete meltdown. I mean, come on girl, you still have Tino, Zach and Aven, you’re fine! Logan is lame! Host Jesse Palmer steps in to chat it up and this is a moment where you really wish Tayshia and Kaitlyn were still hosting The Bachelorette.

… Well, wait a second – Jesse is doing a pretty solid job with his advice. Okay, Jesse! It's still not enough for Rachel though and she decides to cancel the group day date but will be there for the night portion of the date. We see Jesse approach the group of dudes in Bruges to tell them that it’s now a bro date.

Logan shows up at Gabby’s room to confess his feelings. Gab is like what is going on???

Logan says he is no longer pursuing Rachel because he has feelings for Gabby. He tells her, “I’ve been wanting to talk to you for a while… I was on fire for you… and hoping you would give me a rose.” I was on fire for you!?! Gonna vomit.

Gab asks how Rachel took the news and he says she understood but was frustrated.

Gabby explains that Logan was the only overlap between the two Bachelorettes but Rachel seemed to be really into him so Gabby let her pursue him. I personally don’t understand what either of them see in this dude.

Gabby goes to have the hard talk with Rachel. They’re both so polite so pretty much Gabby gets to decide if she wants to give Logan a chance.

RACHEL’S COCKTAIL PARTY

Rachel apologizes to her guys and lets them know what happened with Logan. She gives them all an opportunity to bail out. None of them do, of course, and we see a montage of each guy telling her how much he likes her, etc., Rachel is happy once again... for the time being.

Rachel gives the date rose to Tino…. And from the look on every guy’s face they all thought they were going to get it. In their defense, I think Rachel made out with each one of them back to back to back to back to back.

Gabby’s Group Date

Jason
Spencer
Erich
Mario
Michael

That means Johnny gets the 1 on 1 date!

Omg they’re eating Belgium waffles and they look so gooooood.

The guys play soccer against a group of 10 year olds. The adult men get their butts handed to ‘em.

Then they meet up with a Fish Man who makes them play Rock, Paper, Scissors against each other and the loser gets slapped in the face with a fish. It’s sort of like the #TortillaChallenge and I admit I am amused.

For the cocktail party portion of the date the guys are all like best friends saying how they’re all respectful of each other and a good group and then lo and behold… Here comes Logan to mess it all up!

Gabby’s giving him a chance…. Ugh. She comes in giggling so much that it’s awkward to watch.

Each dude tells her how much they like her but of course they are upset to see Logan blah blah same spiel for everybody.

She talks with Logan and I guess they do have chemistry but I don’t get it…. Regardless of that chemistry – Gabby gives the date rose to frontrunner Nate.

RACHEL’S 1 ON 1

Oh boy, these two have chemistry! They can’t keep their hands off each other.

An observation: Aven is very good at catching chocolate in his mouth.

In one of the cringiest moments of the episode – Rachel and Aven approach a group of old ladies making lace. The ladies give Rachel a lace wedding veil. She puts it on and her and Aven make out in front of these ladies for an extended period of time.

At the dinner portion of the date, we learn about Aven’s upbringing… mom wasn’t really in the picture but now she is. Mom even made him a good luck bracelet which he strategically gives to Rachel. These two are smitten kittens.

There’s fireworks! There’s kissing!

GABBY’S 1 ON 1

Gabby’s date is with Johnny. She tells the camera – “He’s so macho and too cool for school but he pulls it off because he’s goofy.” Is he macho? And cool? Are we seeing the same guy?

Well they have one of the better dates this season – they go to a brewery, drink beers and take a beer bath together. It gets weird in a good way. They are feeling each other.

Johnny gets the rose!

COCKTAIL PARTY & ROSE CEREMONY

Gabby gives Nate a gift! It’s chocolate for his daughter. Too cute!

Logan brings a bucket of fish to play Rock, Paper, Scissors with Gabby since he missed her group date. Gabby’s like…. You WANT to get slapped by a fish? (She slaps him with a fish.)

Rose Ceremony

Gabby's Picks:
Jason
Spencer
Erich
Logan gets the last rose ohhhhhhh!!! Rachel looks PISSED.

Rachel’s Picks:
Zack
Tyler
Ethan

Already safe were Johnny and Nate (Gabby) and Tino and Aven (Rachel).

That means the journey has ended for Mario (first impression rose for Gab!), Michael and the grown man that goes by ‘Meatball’. We will most likely see Meatball in Bachelor in Paradise.

Next week they’re going to Amsterdam!

Want more Boss's Bachelorette Breakdown? Read last week's recap below.

Listen to Laura Boss Monday through Friday 6a-10a with Jenn & Bill and Monday through Friday and Sundays nights 7p-12a!

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