Billie Eilish once felt 'so hopeless' just for 'being a girl'

'I was in this pit of hopelessness about myself'
Billie Eilish
Photo credit Jesse Grant/Getty Images

What’s now Bilie Eilish’s beloved, unique sense of style was once her biggest insecurity. The 20-year-old recently opened up about feeling “hopeless” surrounding a career in the music industry because she did not fit the mold of the women represented.

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“There was a specific period of time where I was in this pit of hopelessness about myself as I didn't have much to look up to in terms of girls like me being taken seriously,” Billie shared in an interview for BBC THREE. “I remember just crying in my bed because I was thinking about the kind of show I would want to put on.”

As a female who enjoys embracing her more masculine features while still embracing her womanhood, Eilish felt she would not be accepted for her style or the type of live shows she dreamed of executing.

“I would just feel so hopeless because I'm a girl, so I'm never going to be able to have a show like that, I'm never going to be able to be free up there and wild… perform in this way and be more physical and be more about the performance... I thought it would never happen,” she said.

Eilish has turned that narrative around as she now travels the world putting on exactly the type of show she dreamed of and regularly shows other females that there is no specific mold to be followed.

“I feel the most powerful when I feel the most masculine in my life, I also can find power in femininity. It's kind of a balance of both,” she shared. "I don't look at myself like I am something to explain. I just exist. I'm a person."

Billie continues to leave her mark as she is one of the 100 women featured on the 2022 BBC 100 Women list. The annual list features 100 different women each year that inspire and influence the definition of womanhood.

Audacy's I’m Listening initiative aims to encourage those who are dealing with mental health issues to understand they are not alone. If you or anyone you know is struggling with depression or anxiety, know that someone is always there. Additionally, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 988.

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Featured Image Photo Credit: Jesse Grant/Getty Images