SAINT LOUIS, MO (KMOX) - Like with so many things in our society, the internet and social media platforms have created an outlet for people to express and explore their grief.
"Only the medium has changed. People have been expressing their grief... ...before social media, it's just that now we can see people's grief more publicly," says Dr. Jocelyn DeGroot is a Professor and Assistant Chair in the Department of Applied Communication Studies at Southern Illinois University Edwardsville.
DeGroot says public, on-line grieving can open someone up to judgement. But she adds, those personal examples can show that grief is not always neat. "Grief stays with you. It is forever. When you are grieving too long, people get uncomfortable. They wonder if you are being healthy. When you're posting things online you do open yourself up to a lot of criticism."
DeGroot says sometimes, people can try to join online expressions of grief they may not have personally experienced. "I call them emotional rubberneckers," says DeGroot. "It can be good or it can be bad. In one way it helps people sort of see what grief is like and feel a little sad, identify with it, without being too emotionally invested in that loss. It's sort of a trial for grief. And then other people just want the attention. They want to say, 'Oh I knew that person.'"
In the extreme, she says some people actively search for grief-centered content. "They call it Grief 'Porn'. This is just people who like to be sad or they like to see other people being sad. They read the blogs, they follow the facebook, they join the memorial group." DeGroot says some want to feel a connection, or feel the emotion, or see how other people react to a trauma."
She says the best way to respond to someone posting about their grief online is not to offer advice, your perspective on death, or you personal experience, but instead to tell them you are sorry for their loss.
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