As The National prepares to release their forthcoming ninth studio album, First Two Pages of Frankenstein, frontman Matt Berninger is speaking about his struggles with depression and how the act of songwriting can sometimes be difficult to connect with.
Listen to Audacy’s I’m Listening Mental Health Mix and more on the free Audacy app
Following the release of his last albums, The National’s 2019 record I Am Easy To Find, and his 2020 solo album debut Serpentine Prison, Berninger admits the pandemic pause took a particular toll on his creativity as a lyricist, leading to depression and a "burnout" he likens to a train "going off the tracks."
“Usually when I’m in a troubled place, I can make something out of it, and write a song about it, and that does a lot to solve it,” he tells Uncut in an exclusive interview, as reported by NME. “This time, I didn’t want to. I was uninterested in my own grief. I was uninterested in my own problems. I was maybe even a little embarrassed by it.” Matt adds, “Then the longer I went without really exercising that [writing] part of myself the harder it got to connect to it. The untangling, or whatever the thrill is about making something out of nothing.”
His depression, he admits, felt as if were “a genuine illness,” including being physically "nauseous” while experiencing what he describes as “sadness and fear about everything” after going sober and adding an antidepressant regimen.
"I’d been writing sad, depressing music for a long time, then when it really hits me, when it all really catches up to me, I didn’t want to write about it anymore,” Matt continues. “I just could not articulate the fog at all. I didn’t want to put words to it. It just all felt ugly and gross and all the thoughts in my head were small and bitter and fearful.” It was only the support of his band, and the dedication of his wife, Carin, that helped him through the toughest times. “It was their faith,” he says that caused him to continue writing music.
“Why are songs such magical emotional pills?" he asks. "Doing therapy and antidepressants and getting totally sober, none of it was making any difference. But writing a song about nothing making any difference was the thing that made a difference. That was my medicine... My relationship with the band and my relationship with my wife and everything is really healthy, and always has been made more healthy by writing about it falling apart.”
The National's First Two Pages of Frankenstein will be out on April 28 via 4AD. Pre-orders are available HERE.
Related
Audacy's I’m Listening initiative aims to encourage those who are dealing with mental health issues to understand they are not alone. If you or anyone you know is struggling with depression or anxiety, know that someone is always there. Additionally, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 988. Find a full list of additional resources here.