PHILADELPHIA (KYW Newsradio) — Donna Andersen’s relationship was only a little over two years in length, but it cost her dearly.
“I married a man who turned out to be a complete con artist,” she said. “This guy took $227,000 from me.”
Andersen, of Atlantic City, New Jersey, said he cheated with at least six different women during their relationship and had a child with one of them.
“And then, not 10 days after I divorced him, but 10 days after I left him, he married the mother of the child, which is the second time he committed bigamy.”
Andersen said her ex was a sociopath who not only drained her bank account but broke her heart. She’s sounding the alarm in her latest book, “Senior Sociopaths: How to Recognize and Escape Lifelong Abusers.” She’s sharing her experience and what she’s learned in the hopes of helping others in similar situations.
She said there are a few signs that show you may be dealing with a sociopath:
• The "extremely sudden soulmate" phenomenon
• Love bombing: They shower you with attention and affection
• They lie all the time (both big and small lies)
• They blame everyone else for their problems
• They do not change
How to begin protecting yourself:
• Know that sociopaths exist
• Look for the warning signs listed above
• Pay attention and trust your intuition
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Andersen learned one of the women her husband cheated with was from Pennsylvania.
“I called her and said, ‘You are involved with my husband and I think you should stop giving him money,’ ” she recalled. “And she said it was too late, ‘I already gave him $92,000.’ That was the point I realized the entire marriage was a scam and all he ever wanted from me was my money.”
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It took therapy and time to process the pain. She has since remarried and found happiness, but she stresses to others to watch out for the warning signs.
“When you meet someone who could have anti-social or narcissistic personality disorder, they are exciting, they are the life of the party,” she explained. “They engage in sudden soulmate phenomena — you meet this person and you feel this is the person you have been looking for all your life.”
However, “there is a reason for that. The sociopath studies you, figures out what you are looking for, and then makes himself or herself into that individual.”
The victim may think this is meant to be, she said, but unfortunately, it isn’t.
She advises people to pay attention to these signs, trust their intuition, and simply know that these types of people exist.
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