PHILADELPHIA (KYW Newsradio) — The start of the school year can be a stressful time for kids, and experts say they need help working through it just like adults do.
One of the biggest challenges of growing up is trying to answer the questions, “Who am I?” and “How do I fit in?” As a result, kids’ relationships with peers matter, according to pediatrician Dr. Ken Ginsburg, founding director of the Center for Parent and Teen Communication at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. He says the beginning of the school year is a time of transition and stress for many young people.
“School offers a lot of stressors, right? It is a time where we are challenged emotionally to try to fit in with our peers. It is a time where we're beginning to imagine how well we're performing or not,” he said.
“I don't think parents understand how much pressure that can feel like, and how important it is for your child to have several sets of peers to make sure that if they're out one week with a set, they have another set they can turn to, and that they have a cultural community.”
Ginsburg says kids can manage stress through problem-solving, managing emotions, self-care, and finding purpose. Effective communication is also key. He also contributes to Speak Up, a local nonprofit dedicated to supporting young people through their journey to adulthood.
“It creates an opportunity where people know that there's no subject off bounds, that we care about each other, that we belong to each other, and that it's open communication support that will get us through anything,” he said.
Ginsburg stresses the need for parents to model healthy behaviors — such as nutrition, proper sleep, relaxation and exercise — and to support their children's sense of belonging and self-worth. That includes not only focusing on their achievement but always showing unconditional love to them.
While parents expect their children to get good grades, research shows that teens thrive when they’re valued for who they are, not just their achievements. Ginsburg says when parents focus on achievement alone, they lose the opportunity to take advantage of that unconditional love.
“When that person who knows you chooses to love you, it is the most protective thing in your life,” he said, “not only in your home relationships, but when any other sense of your identity is challenged, whether it's from peers, including a bully, whether it's from teachers.”