PHILADELPHIA (KYW Newsradio) — The holidays are a time for giving thanks and gathering with friends and family. But for some, it’s extremely difficult to do that amid the loss of a loved one.
“It can feel very disorienting and jarring to have that experience alongside what the holidays invite,” said Naila Francis, a death doula and grief guide. She said it’s OK to let yourself off the hook when grief becomes overwhelming during the holiday season.
Ravina Daphtary said it’s important for people to know they are not alone in their grief. She is one of the creators of a temporary art installation in Philadelphia’s Rail Park, called The Thread.
It creates a space for people to grieve and connect. It features a cozy booth with a disconnected rotary phone in it, and people are invited to pick up the phone and symbolically “speak” to a lost loved one.
“It comes in waves and it comes back after decades,” Daphtary said, “and to be able to have community around that and to be able to see one another grieving creates a collective around it.
“There are other societal and cultural factors at play and we are sustaining large numbers of losses, and we have to be able to confront those together.”
Francis noted that we live in a grief-phobic culture, but there’s no need to put on a happy face and make sure the holidays are perfect. It’s OK to express sadness and loss.
For people around others who are grieving, both Francis and Daphtary said being an ear and letting them know they’re heard and supported can sometimes be enough.