Dear Matt,
I live with “Stacey” who is 23, while I, “Jean” am 24. We both knew each other in college and were decent acquaintances who both came to Cleveland following college. I thought living with her would be fun, and besides, we’re in our early twenties! Live it up, right?
And then COVID-19 hit and obviously, the world paused for a second. But as soon as things became opening up, Stacey began to really go back into her normal routine: gym, shopping, dinner, etc. And she wears her masks and respects other people.
However, Stacey likes to go out to more…party bars on the weekends. And I’m sure most of the bars are following procedures, but I don’t know how well the drunk patrons are handling the situation.
I’ve asked Stacey many times to consider not going out to such places, but she shrugs it off. She takes COVID seriously but considers this to be an indulgence. We have to resign the lease in a couple of months and this is making me seriously consider not resigning with Stacey.
Thoughts?
-Jeannie In A Bottle With An Insensitive Roommate
Dear Jeannie In A Bottle With An Insensitive Roommate,
Roommates are like the bars Stacey frequents: sometimes it’s a great time, and sometimes everything is a blurry hot mess and filled with regrettable decisions.
I think going to the bar is totally fine, and I’ve grabbed a drink or two in the last couple of months since the restrictions have been lightened. I think her ‘indulgence’ is going to bars, gyms, and out shopping where she can enjoy activities while being safe and keeping others safe.
But there’s a difference between a couple of drinks and staying safe, and getting super lit and dancing with strangers at the club without a mask! That’s like playing with fire and jumping into the fire!
In terms of being a roommate, she should be more aware of your wishes. It’s one thing to acknowledge and compromise (she does less clubbing, she promises to be safer, she decides that if she’s going to go clubbing she will make sure she does ‘x, y, z’ following the club to ensure she’s safe). But for her to ignore this like it’s a plea to wash the dishes is insensitive.
I previously lived with a roommate who made it impossible to want to be home! I’d find myself anywhere but home, and that’s a sad thing to realize! If you feel like this ‘home’ with Stacey is no longer a comfort then it’s time to get a new roommate. Especially if she doesn’t respect your wishes.
I think you know what you need to do, and I think it’s Sayonara Stacey! If she lives alone, maybe she’ll be safer in deciding to indulge in high-risk situations. Certainly, you’ll be happier.
(I’m far from a doctor or expert in health! Consult the CDC, WHO and other global figures and organizations for facts regarding COVID-19)