They say to never talk about religion and politics, although I don't know who they is. Apparently those are hot-button topics and we're supposed to avoid them at all costs.
And so we do..We keep our thoughts, opinions, and prejudices to ourselves in fear of repercussion. Those thoughts, opinions, and prejudices therefore become our truth, and they shape who we are. There is no room for growth, no room to expand our mind.
Depending on your upbringing, racism fits into that don't ask don't tell mold, as well. We are all born innocent, so how we treat people that don't look like us is learned. Think about that for a second...There are parents that teach their kids to be racist..
Some do it on purpose, some do it accidentally when they make jokes or side comments when they watch the news. Our older folks do it when they say phrases like "that black guy" or "those colored people", but it's normal because that's how they were brought up and they mean no harm.
The opportunity to truly empathize is lost, because we don't know what we're empathizing about. None of us support someone innocent getting killed, but the problem is much bigger. You can feel sad, angry, post blackout social media posts, but what else will you do?
You talk to people.
My church had a powerful conversation between our pastor and his best friend who is African-American. A friendship over 20 years. Our pastor apologized for not asking the questions to his best friend. Asking him what he needed or even wanted. Asking him to share his personal plight. A genuine moment rooted in ignorance. Ignorance because we are taught to "not go there" in fear of things getting uncomfortable.
Go there. Always go there. Ask about someone's religion so you don't continue life with your incorrect biases. Talk about politics and maybe learn something you didn't know.
I remember having a talk about religion with my best friend of 30 years a few years ago. It was 3 in the morning, and it got intense and we were way off in our philosophies. But I got a deeper understanding of him, and we were respectful, and we disagreed, but we both learned a bit about the other side of our thoughts.
As you go through life, have the difficult conversations. Teach your kids to ask questions that they are unsure about. Ask someone what they face on a normal day, and maybe someone will ask you. Talk about what "they" tell you to avoid at all costs. Keep an open mind, and teach your kids the same. We stop growing when our opinions become our truths. We stop our ability to show and feel compassion when we think an alternative shouldn't exist.
This is not the answer, but it's a start. No one has the answer, but we all have the ability to change ourselves. As parents, we can influence our kids on purpose.
Maybe then, when we use words like privilege, it'll be a positive word used to describe everyone's situation.
Until then...lets not water down the issue here by trying to be all-inclusive as to which lives mater. Teach your kids to see color, let them watch the news to see the reality of protests and riots, cry with them..pray with them. The lesson to teach? Black lives matter.
All my best as you figure out life and the relationships in it.
xoxo Glenn