Dear Matt,
My daughter, “Tiffany”, plays on her high school junior varsity team and is ready for her upcoming senior year. Recently, I was approached by the coach if I’d like to be an assistant coach sort to speak for the team. I don’t really have that much experience outside of being a parent to a daughter who has been doing volleyball for her entire life. I feel like I could do the job, but there’s just one issue. The JV team my daughter is on is terrible.
When I say terrible, I mean it. They lost every game but one last year, and the year before that I can’t remember if they won any games. They’re like the Cleveland Browns of high school volleyball teams. I get very competitive and I worry that I will get negatively invested in the team. I want the girls to have fun, and I don’t think it would be fun if I had to coach the team.
Volleyball Dad
Dear Volleyball Dad,
Let’s break this down. Your daughter Tiffany has been doing volleyball all her life and seems to enjoy it even if she’s not winning that often. That’s a beautiful thing! So often we are told, and we believe, that we have to be excellent at something to enjoy it. Heck no! If you love doing something, that should be enough incentive to do it. If Tiffany didn’t like Volleyball, then why play it? And if she does, I’m happy that she’s on a team and getting to play her favorite sport.
As for your competitive drive, it’s good to be aware that you have that and worry about how it would impact the team. The last thing Tiffany and her team need is someone to hammer them and take away the joy of the game unless Tiffany and her friends want to be more competitive. Maybe there are ways to scout what the team needs, and if they need a competitive spirit you could help them by being an assistant coach.
If they seem content otherwise, you could volunteer to do things for the team like snack runs, poster-making, sign-making, etc. Find ways to be involved with Tiffany’s team that won’t turn you into one of those crazy coach-parents. I assume Tiffany will be glad her dad is supporting her in general rather than in the specifics.