Shawn Colvin has long been open about her battles with depression and alcoholism, but the COVID-19 pandemic presented a new challenge.
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Colvin was the guest on the latest episode of Hardcore Humanism with Dr. Mike and spoke about how the pandemic has affected her.
“I kind of liken the whole thing to stages of grief,” she says. “That’s helped me enormously to look at it that way and look at the mood swings that I have in terms of going through stages of getting to an acceptance of something, which is nearly impossible. But, that’s how I’m looking at it to keep my sanity.”
As a musician, Colvin was already used to not having a routine work schedule. The pandemic forced her to stay at home when she would normally be out on the road performing. Colvin said one of the biggest challenges was “the loss of being able to have purpose.”
“You take it for granted. At least I did - loss of our sense of normalcy, safety. It's a whole new way of life.”
Colvin said her depression has taken “the form of mood swings,” which also added a layer of confusion for her.
“It's all very disconcerting when I was going through these mood swings, and really not having a way to understand them,” Colvin recalled. “It's been a year since I've worked, and it's maybe another year? Nobody knows. And I just say, ‘How can I go on living this way?’ You know, having to reinvent myself constantly and come up with something to do. And beating myself up for not having the energy.”
One of the ways that she’s been able to cope with the loss of certainty is to accept the fact she can’t control everything. “This pandemic really brought that home to me, I have so little control over so much,” she said.
The other challenge the pandemic brought forth was connecting with people. Colvin explained how important it is to “stay in touch with like-minded people” who were recovering from alcoholism. “I check in with other people who do the same thing, who remind me part of the sickness of addiction is terrible denial, and doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results,” she said.
“And so, I have to keep in, you know as they say, fit spiritual condition. And I do that by connecting with other people. That to an extent is my higher power. The people that I know and have bonded with, who are recovering through the same tenets, program that I’m recovering in — there's a power in that. So, I stay in touch with people who are like-minded.”
You can listen to more episodes Hardcore Humanism with Dr. Mike here
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Audacy's I’m Listening initiative aims to encourage those who are dealing with mental health issues to understand they are not alone. If you or anyone you know is struggling with depression or anxiety, know that someone is always there. Additionally, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 1-800-273-8255.
